Da Bomb Website!

  

Peep out the new website and see what it do! (www.vanthonyrivers.com) I have to thank the incredible Lis of Anewlis On Design for really hooking me up with exactly what I wanted in a website focusing on the new book coming out officially on March 21st. I hope all eyes viewing this checkout the book. I believe you'll find yourself on quite a little journey through the minds of these characters who became like family to me. Leesha Tyler, Scottie "Blaze" Franklin, Treyvon Williams, and a host of others that add to the experience of this young woman becoming who she becomes; good and bad...

I was also blessed with my very first contest so I wanna send warm thank you's to Cashana in Montgomery, Alabama, Kisha in Wayside, NJ, and Ms. Toni in St. Louis, Missouri. Special prizes/gifts are on the way...

Checkout my website designer too.. Lis is the bomb for real!(www.anewlis.com/ondesign/)

Your Touch

  

Pre-defined like a shirt size, only coming in one fit. No spontaneity. Just a lot of wants, needs, no in betweens. All you meant to me was this...that.. we cant be....because? Typically the answer is what drives me insane because if you search real hard any reason given is like a stranger in a new town without a sense of direction and no map. where to go? Do like everybody else... Take the easy route...pull away, go somewhere else, say goodbye, disappear, move on, forget about the value of life and what each moment mean't. Forget about the shared smiles.... similar thoughts...different perspectives that result in learning something new... Forget about all those dots we connected as friends..The tiny little minutes that cemented time in the form of memories... If I died tomorrow would you care? Then why does that feeling hold less value while I'm breathing the same air? The touch that drives you insane is like a whisper that stays with you... From time to time you hear something in your heart and you wonder why. If they dont care then why should you? And if you do care, that puts you one step above most muhfukka's who claimed to be in love....

Musical Saturday...

  

First half of my weekend was a musical one... It rained hard this morning... The rain came down for most of the day but I found my joy right here inside, on the computer. I cruised on the internet highway to checkout one of my favorite spots.. Honeysoul.com. They have this Soul2Soul podcast that is the bomb. I listened to that and discovered some cool tracks by N'Dambi and Kaskade that made me pop open a blank CD and do some serious downloading. I did just that but then I got the brilliant idea to go over to the NPG music website aka Prince and see what kind of music he had going on. I discovered some incredible stuff that I had never heard before. Some unreleased music that I'm sure other folks belonging to his music club knew about before but today I took a moment to download some. The standout for me today were three songs that I couldn't stop playing over and over again. They sounded so good that after a while the rain stopped and I could hear birds chirping outside. I figured the rain would come back but it didn't. That was my cue to hit the streets... I went to a local hand carwash and spent my time shining up the ride while listening to the Prince music that I downloaded... Other folks turned their music off and listened too...

The Dance
"I dont want to give you my love because if I do, I'll lose my mind... I dont want to hold your hand because if I do, I'll just want to follow you everywhere."

Underneath The Cream
"Somewhere in between.. can't stop thinking about your thighs.."

When I Lay My Hands On You
"The message you're about to hear is not meant for transmission... There should only be access to the privacy of your mind."

Beautiful B...

  

"Words never hit home until they're discovered by the intended target..."

There's a woman I know that physically is a combination Rosario Dawson and Sanaa Lathan all rolled into one but on the inside she possesses so much self-doubt that she'd probably be intimidated if she sat at a table with those ladies. I can see her now, doing as she does with me, fending off compliments and always checking to see if any part of her skin is showing. She'd apologize a lot and continue with the tragedy of a beautiful woman holding her head down. She'd try to change the subject constantly and take away all attempts to reveal the reasons for the sadness in her eyes. She knows how to smile and give answers to camouflage the lack of spark in her soul but it always fades when she looks down before she finishes a sentence. She's beautiful but even on a good day you'll never witness her saying "yes, I am..." I pray she finds that spark which will allow her to embrace and celebrate herself because she would be unstoppable if she ever does. Peace to you.....B.

Epic!

  

A Nod 2 Monique

  

I met this lady while standing in line at Ralph's grocery store in the Ladera Center. This was my second time being blessed with an unexpected cool moment there. This store is like a magnet for beautiful sistahs! First I saw this lady walking. She caught my eye. She smiled in passing. It was nice. Like seeing paradise in the distance... I had to stop and follow her with my eyes for a moment without being too obvious. After I got my items, low and behold there she was standing in line. It wasn't no coincidence that I would be standing behind her because I skipped at least two other lines that were shorter in order to stand in the longer line with her. She knew. She picked up on my vibe. I said "hey" and she greeted me with a "how are you?" We talked and she told me her name. I'll call her Monique for this piece in order to protect the guilty and innocent. I helped her put some of her items on the conveyor belt. Monique had done some serious shopping. I figured all that stuff wasn't just for her. She suggested that I go in front of her as I only had four items but I quietly declined. An offer like that would've cut short the conversation that we'd eventually have.

Monique was cool. She smiled when she spoke though sometimes her thoughts would end with a hint of sarcasm, letting me know something was up. I asked her if she had a big family because of all the food she was buying. when she responded there was no smile. She answered by saying "No, I have a husband at home that eats a lot."

"Oh, my condolences..."

Monique laughed. She told me she didn't mean it like that but something about her answer and the look on her face told me that she and her husband were probably going through one of those not so good moments. She turned the question on me and asked "you married?"

"Nah, single..."

"Don't lie. I find that hard to believe..."

I explained to Monique that if I wasn't single, I wouldn't be standing in the same line as her, hoping she'd feel the attraction and possibly bond with me through conversation. She responded by saying "that dont stop these other married men and guys with girlfriends!"

"You're right.."

Monique smiled and handed the cashier her Ralph's Club Card. After they bagged up her stuff, she waited for me. I was surprised. I started to smile.

"What's that look?" she asked.

"You waiting for me?"

She didn't answer. She turned her attention to the t-shirt I was wearing which showed the cover of my novel coming out. She told me she noticed it the first time she saw me. We talked about it on our way out the store. I told her she should also checkout my blog and that I would "creatively mention our moment in passing." She promised to look me up. I told her "cool and if you wasn't married I would look you up too!" She gave me one last glimpse of her beautiful smile before waving me off.

"Whatever..." she said.

I hope her husband does the unexpected like put all the groceries away and tell her that tonight he's gonna do all the cooking... Allow her to take the load off her feet and feel appreciated so that when she mentions she's gotta a husband the next time, she'll say it with pride rather than regret. Because having a woman recognize you as her everything has got to be the most beautiful gift a man could ever experience... That's for you, Monique...*wink* Thanks for the moment..

Weekend Fabulous..

  

My three day weekend was heaven... The experiences endless.. The creativity, the lessons, the inspiration, the gorgeous backdrop of possibillities....and the dreams... This was a three day adventure beginning on Friday. I woke up to a challenge which I eluded to in a previous post but then I escaped for a while in the creativity of Tyler Perry. After that it was on... Friday night was blessed by the conversation of a former dream... She was beautiful as always. Then another good friend told me about her moving story that she's working on. I look forward to helping her get her story out there... She deserves the best kind of success...

Saturday I got more inspiration from my good friend Tee C. Royal. I talked to her as I was standing in a crowded Beverly Center Mall wearing my t-shirt which has images of my new book coming out. I was like a standing billboard. People would actually stop in front of me and read my shirt.. It was funny that it was happening as I was deep into the conversation with Tee but I liked it... Then saturday night came and it was time to pick up my friend Kim so we could go chill at the Temple Bar before the incredible Joi hit the stage and just blew us all away... wow... a real true artist... at home onstage...funky...beautiful...the Star Kitty doing her thang! And then across the crowded room my eyes locked with another dream... My friend Jody says I experienced a "rainbow" that unfortunately ended when the night was over... I was separated by the crowd of folks and unwilling to slither my way through the tightness to get to this young lady that maintained her eye contact with me when she wasn't watching the show... We were co-stars as Joi would sing, in our own production but it was a silent experience.. We only spoke with our eyes, punctuated at times with a smile.. She had big eyes.. That's what I remember and I dreamed about her later on as if to say I wasn't done thinking about her...

Sunday was recovery day and then it ended with the magic of conversation, this time enjoyed between myself and my uncle, Richard. Wow... great conversation, sharing memories and stories about family that I'd never heard before... We plan to make more time in the very near future to connect and hangout..visit with other family and learn about our history... It's gonna be fun and I look forward to it.. I haven't had this great a weekend in a while.. I was truly blessed...

And yet dreams can change and cash themselves out as reality checks...

Life and love are basically the same... They throw you some hellified curves and test your strength for even wanting to stick around in this madness but something rises to the top of your very being letting you... no, telling you that you have to withstand any and all obstacles... Step over the pain and keep walking... Lift yourself up even when you're not sure you can... Defy the comfort zone of failure because it is very easy to give up... but you cant because you remember your purpose that defined your sincerest direction ever... Life can be hard but love shouldn't...

"Be careful" I was told tonight. "It's wet outside."

I drove and I heard those words echo in my mind. I kept my eyes focused as I tried to navigate through the fog, the flooded waters streaming down the canyon roads that I passed on my way home, and the rain blowing sideways as I waited for the light to turn green. I needed gas so I stopped. There I stood, shivering from the cold and the rain making my clothes damp. The day/night had been rough for me. A couple of things rocked my foundation. My immune system was low and a cold grabbed a hold of me. I guess its true what they say about the highs and lows, the peaks and valleys. I get angry when I allow something to take away my spirit just as I was angered when over the weekend I'd witness a man destroying a beautiful friend's spirit with hurtful words. This morning I floated on a cloud of great conversation provided by a beautiful friend in Nova Scotia... That was sweet high.. And then disappointment took me down. You ever admire someone so much that you'd give up your most treasured possession just to see them happy? Well, I gave up love...

Putting all your trust in people will surely break your heart. And eventhough it feels like forever, that dont mean you wont drift apart...

-"Co-stars" by Joi

For A Reason...

  

When something that comes from your heart develops into something bigger than yourself, compromise is a word lost within the universe. The only thing you should reach for is the power with which you believe is equal to the purpose of what you're striving for...

-VAR


Today was a moving experience.... a test... a challenge to self and then I lost myself in the magic of a beautiful film/story by Tyler Perry called "Madea's Family Reunion." Wow... I was blown away by the power and spirit of this story. All the actors were top notch and did an incredible job. The women of all ages were stunning... The elders moved me to tears. The power of love expressed in this film is what I strive for when writing my own stories... And the inspiration I walked away with was pure strength and believing in the purpose of what I'm after with respect to something very dear to me. I have to thank my friend Tee C. Royal for the equally inspiring and powerful conversation we had after the movie. The cool thing about it was that eventhough she's in Atlanta and I'm out here in LA, we both coincidentally saw this film at the same time today... And she said to me "things happen for a reason."

A Dream...

  

I'd given her a name and I'd given her life. Inside my brain she took flight. I imagine her with long hair and a giggly smile. She was so beautiful, she loved to wear dresses. She was truly a young lady. I called her Angelica one week, named her Anastasia another day, and called her Victoria when I thought about the possibility of her having similar initials like mine. She smiled everytime I called her. She listened and hung on every word I'd say. I was the greatest thing in her world and I'd fill her entire soul with love to the point where she'd know that if I were no longer physically around, she'd always have me deep within her heart. Something about her eyes would remind others about me and something about her laughter would cause folks to whisper, Anthony's child... Yes indeed, a dream she was...

Blaze...

  

Scottie proved to be as big of an eater as he was a risk taker. He had money so he wasn’t concerned about the size of the meal.

He told me “order what you want Leesha cause I’m about to act like I aint ate since last year! I seen this dude eating one of these hamburgers on the bus the other day and I was about to jack that fool.”

“You’re crazy!”

“Nah, for real… That thought went through my mind to take homeboy’s burger ‘cause that shit looked so good. But then I calmed my ass down and just used that as some motivation to make money. Now that I got the money, I can get my own damn hamburger, you feel me.”

I looked at Scottie in disbelief but he was really serious about what he’d said. Not only that but he ended up buying two King Fatburgers, which are their biggest and he got a large soda to wash it all down. I just ordered one burger and some fries. I barely ate all of it so I wrapped it up to take home with me. Since mama don’t care if I eat or not, I could warm my leftover burger up and eat the rest later.

After we finished eating, Scottie asked me if I would just chill with him for a while. I got nervous behind his request, at first.

“What do you mean, go home with you?” I asked.

“Nah…Leesha. There you go, again.”

“How am I supposed to know what you mean?”

“’Cause I’ma tell you what I mean.”

“Okay.”

“It’s simple. I was talking bout sitting here a little longer and conversating. I mean, over here you ain’t gotta worry about that fool with the yellow Volkswagon. Plus, we ain’t really get to talk where you could see that I ain’t trying to hook up with you.”

“Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

“Shit, I don’t know… How you doing in school?”

“It’s okay. I’m just trying to get out of there.”

“You gonna wish you was back in school once you get older. School is some real shit if you in there for the right reasons.”

I rolled my eyes as if to warn the world that Scottie was about to start with another excerpt from his philosophy about life.

“Aww, that’s not cool, rolling your eyes. I’ma remember that…”

Scottie’s feelings were hurt so I tried to reach over and touch his hand but he pulled it away. I worried that he was seriously offended but then he started smiling. That smile would become our connection because no matter what would be going on around us or what we were into, once Scottie flashed his smile, the world was alright with me.

MLIAIH is the Bomb

  

"Each day felt like the next because nothing really different was going on. Mama was loving on her Victor and trying to decide whether or not to let him move in. And I spent most of my days sitting on the front steps of our apartment building, watching the ghetto tumbleweed roll down the street..."

-Leesha Annette Tyler

My Life Is All I Have
copr.2006

Diary

  

I took a short cut today; telling myself I would get in a little exercise before I went to work. I decided to walk to the store instead of driving. It's just around the corner so to be honest, it ain't really exercise at all. It rained earlier so the grounds were still wet. I was stepping over trashcan's that had fallen, puddles of water, and wet leaves everywhere. You know; constant reminders that my spoiled butt could be driving over all this debris instead of jumping over it like I was doing.

On my way back home, I stepped over something that caught my eye. How did this possibly get here, I thought to myself. It appeared to be a journal or a diary. I glanced around, thinking that someone might already be headed back this way to look for what they'd lost but I saw no one. I leaned over and picked it up. It looked worn, perhaps by the water damage because as I flipped through the pages I noticed the year written down was 2006. I also noticed that this person had begun writing in this diary in January of 2005.

I searched for the very last entry in the book. I was intrigued though I knew deep down I was intruding upon someone's private thoughts. But hell, this world is all about reality this- and that. Beating everyone over the head with that "keep it real" cliche' has turned into what we base our whole television viewing habits on. I may be in the minority because I tend to seek out more fantasy and mystery as oppose to cold hard reality. But anyway, I checked out what was written. The first few words of the entry put me in the mindset that this person was going through something; a relationship gone wrong sort of thing, which also in today's world happens a little too frequently.

I'm learning how to not care and move on just as you have done with me...

Those words captured me right away. I could relate one hundred percent to that sort of thing. Once again, I took a look around to see if anyone was returning to claim what they had lost. I felt strange and even exposed, standing there on the street corner reading someone's diary. I decided to close the book and take it home. I walked fast. I was anxious to see whatelse this person had to say. I felt uncomfortable and excited knowing I had something that was so sacred to some unknown person. Despite that realization, I was compelled to do this- and I did.

When I got home, I put away the items that I bought and sat down at my kitchen table. I continued where I left off and read the rest of the last entry...

My mind is completely in a state of nothingness at times when I think about the changes we're going through. I'm sounding like some kind of sad, break up love song and I dont mean to. I'm just tired of spending days trying to weed through the bullshit and figure out the truth that is you. I question whether I should find my strength by twisting my direction... Meaning, I used to think I could always feel good about you, continue to celebrate you and your accomplishments but what purpose does that serve when you're so good at removing the connection between us? Remember that bond you placed between you and I? It was something I treasured despite not really buying into the concept of it all. But out of respect to you, I held it deep within my heart and smiled every time I relived the moment in memory. Now I try not to think about it-albeit, unsuccessfully. I guess it's my turn... I'm not as good as you but I'm learning. Hopefully, I wont hate you but right now I really can't say that I like you very much either...I guess that thin line is real...

I leaned back, allowing the words to soak into my consciousness. I could really connect emotionally. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine this person. I couldn't really visualize them but I felt the confusion they were wrestling with. I opened my eyes and thumbed through the pages searching for anything that would reveal their identity. I noticed on the very back, inside the cover was the name of a woman; Oleta Diamond and her address. She lived on a street not too far from mine but I wasn't ready to return the diary to her. I felt like I wanted to understand what brought her to this discovery of sadness. What went right in the beginning and what eventually went wrong though I'm sure that's her question too. It was a way for me to understand my own emotional dilemna because I had the same issues, confusion and anger directed at someone who I not so long ago shared some truly amazing moments with. I closed the diary, took a deep breath and made a mental note. Tonight I would begin learning about Oleta Diamond. I would retrace her mental steps beginning in January 2005. Nice to meet you Oleta...

Copr.2006

Dancin Brain Thoughts...

  

Love is like a stranger to me; finding time to walk into my life, sit for a little while and then make excuses to leave like I said the wrong thing. She apologizes and I smirk, halfway believing the drama like a half finished piece of work. The job is messy, especially the lies slippin in and out of each sentence like worn out tires on an SUV threatening to turn over but nah, this is just half truth so she falls on her side, leaving the door open for those chance moments... A moment like "I seen you yesterday, why you couldn't stop and talk for a minute?" What we gonna talk about? Small talk and how you been as an anxious eye searches for any excuse to make a getaway or maybe we're both silently praying the cellphone rings. I got my hands in my pockets. I say "it's good to see you..." and she sighs anxiously like I ended the conversation and its safe for her to leave... She kisses me on the cheek but it aint the same... What happened to those lingering moments? What happened to the laughter between the lip locking? The fascination... all that beautiful mystery is gone... I see her differently too. That means I know her. I dont need to see the extra make-up to catch a spark but I appreciate any extra effort to impress. I buy new clothes so I can look a little different; look nice. I buy you something too so you can smile... I dig that 'cause its a challenge. You gotta try harder to please someone you know and that's actually a beautiful thang... I'm cool on the other side but when I was by your side, that felt right too... Funny how I remember you...

February 14th

  

A day when memories float by... A day when the sounds of yesterday and yesteryear collide with joy and sadness... A day reminiscing about the heart shaped rose petals on the bed, a stuffed white horse wrapped in silver paper, a mountain top kiss, a snowy retreat, candlelit dinners, sweet potato fries, and driving over a hundred miles to deliver roses.... Giving...loving... thanking..and feeling blessed... A woman recently looked into my eyes and said one word; she said "romance..." She didn't tell me why and I didn't react soon enough to question. I was stunned by the way she said it and imagined myself as transparent. Could this woman see through me; inside me? She saw something in my eyes I suppose but today on this day...February 14th 2006 it ain't there... No reason to be. For today I simply celebrate me. Peace inside my heart... I'm cool just the way I should be...

An answer 2 curiosity...

 
 

Joilicious

  


"Love me for who I am because I LOVE what I've come to be..."

-Joi

Somewhere On The Edge Of Love

  

Before we took a step further we talked. We thought about the potential. The footprints we'd leave behind. The russled leaves. The damage to a vein or a tree branch broken. We kept our distance. One of us believed it was for the best and one of us could see the possibility that what we'd share would make the world around us even more beautiful. We could plant for the future. Spend time cultivating something magical. Make a toast to the future everytime we'd inspire each other's smile... One of us believed but the other could not see so one of us lied and agreed that distance was cool... just because and just so that it would be easier...for her...

Reflection....reflecting..

  

"You can still do what you do and feel at the same time..."

-VAR

A Canvas For Quotes

  

I'm living my life via quotes these days... Seems like I say standout words or phrases that stick around long enough to make me pick up the journal and write it down. I got to thinking it would be cool to document my quotin' progress, if you will... There's a memory of a significant moment attached; good, bad, whatever- yo, this week it went a little something like this...

"Is this a joke, a test or the best I can do?"
In the midst of someone teling me their plans to return to another, I received a call from a former somebody speaking of dreams of marriage.. In my mind it aint nothing but a mirage...

"And if you love it, spread the word..."
I was blessed to talk about my upcoming book with someone who was intrigued with the storyline and some of the words spoken by the female lead character in the story.

"Don't just say it 'cause it sounds good. Say it 'cause you mean it."
An effort to show a good friend just how blessed he is to have a special lady in his life who has chosen to make him her priority. He was trying to come up with the "right" words to say how he feels.

"Tonight she was there. She smiled, she waved... I seen what love almost looked like."
Answer to a question from a friend who asked why I looked so out of it; so dizzy... My eyes slightly red because I fought back and held in something I didn't want to admit...

One of the best damn artists...

 
 

This lady is the bomb and should not be slept on! Peep out her new CD comin' soon called Tennessee Slim Is The Bomb...

"You oughta know by now that I just wanna fly to the moon / And even if you won't take me, I know there'll be another rocket comin' by soon."

-Joi

Quotin' Time

 
 

"The person least interested in the relationship will dominate it. And the person who wants the relationship will always sacrifice.."

-Terrence Howard

The Lonely Home

  

I spent a couple hours visiting with a woman on Green Street; a little road in east Texas. It sits deep in the country, surrounded by towns such as Cason, Mt. Pleasant, Omaha, and Daingerfield. A lot of folks with the same last name as mine live on this road that you basically have to pull over to the side in order to let someone coming from the opposite direction go by.

Calsa was the woman's first name and when I met her, she'd seen a lot of years. Her home was warm inside. She had a lot of pictures on the walls and on tables in frames. Underneath her coffee table were stacks of photo albums. I wanted to look through them but I felt like I'd be intruding if I attempted to do so after only just recently meeting her.

Calsa spoke a lot about my grandfather and the kind of man he was. She said she could see a lot of me in him. Tears filled her eyes as she recalled the past and then she looked out the window. She pointed to an empty field sitting on the opposite side of Green Street. She told me that her grandmother lived there inside a very small home. She was alone for most of her life living there and used to wait days upon days for someone to visit or simply pass by. Calsa said she could relate to how her grandmother lived because her life had become very similar.

"It takes days for somebody to remember old Calsa. I guess times is different now and folks mind only got so much room in it. They only think about whoever they see right in front of them" she said.

I nodded in agreement. "Yes ma'am. Everyone is in a hurry, I guess--"

"And where you suppose they going?"

I couldn't answer Calsa's question. She continued to tell me about her grandmother. I pictured a woman who lived a lonely life without a means of getting around. Maybe she feared leaving her home and getting caught by darkness or being too far from home to get back. Calsa told me that whenever her grandmother did see someone coming up the road she'd wave and greet that person as if they were family.

"Grandma would just wave and wave... She'd smile and if the person stopped in front of her home, she'd offer them something to eat. Total strangers, mind you... I can't do that 'cause you never know who you might be inviting into your home but I do takes care of friends and family."

Calsa offered me some pound cake after that. I accepted because her home smelled like she had fresh pound cake sitting on the table somewhere. When she left the room and went into the kitchen, I picked up one of the framed photos sitting on the coffee table. I thought it was a picture of Calsa at first until I looked really closely and saw how somewhat different the facial features were. When Calsa returned she saw me with the picture in my hands. She smiled and said that was her grandmother.

"Okay, I thought it was you at first."

Calsa smiled. "No, that's Grandma. It's the only picture I have of her. I look at it from time to time and it make me think about myself. My life is full but it's mostly carried in memories that I have. Grandma tell me if you live long enough and your mind still good, you gonna have a good time 'cause your memories is what's gonna make you smile. I smile often chile and I pray for when somebody come up the road to visit me just as you has. Then I can share my gift..."

"Your gift?"

"Life is precious and eventhough you might say old Calsa look like she lonely, living in a lonely house, I'm doing just fine. Grandma was the same way. When somebody come around and they get to talking, that time spent becomes a precious memory she can hold onto forever. When I had a chance to visit with her, she tell me about those times back then on this lonely road and it's like I get to see how she lived and meet them folks she talk to. And now chile, through me you living what I been through and meeting those that come before me."

"Yeah, that's what it feels like..."

After a while I could sense Calsa getting tired so I excused myself and told her I would come back another day to visit with her. I did a few more times before I'd heard she passed on. Now her body resides in the family cemetery but her spirit I can see still standing on the porch of her country home on Green Street, waving goodbye. I look forward to visiting again the next time I'm down there cruising through east Texas...

Friday The 13th what!

  

I got this idea to blog about my Friday the 13th experience from a fellow blogger who by the way has a bomb spot on the internet that's sure to make you want to visit all the time. Her thoughts and creativity are fabulous... Peep her out sometime..
http://ncontrol.blogspot.com/

My day started off pretty lazy but I was motivated by the fact that I needed to finish up some reading I had to do of my novel due out in March. I had to search for typos and other little errors. I can't wait for folks to read this book.. It's got that westcoast street flava with a literary edge to it.. Sure to make you feel like you watching something special unfold on the big screen in a sort of Set It Off kind of way... except of course it's your mind's eye supplying the canvas for these characters to dance on...

Anyway, after I finished that good stuff, I headed off to work... Work went real cool.. Eight hours felt like two because that's just how good my day was flowing... This didn't feel like any kind of bad luck day.. Maybe it's like that because I dont know much about a lot of the so-called superstitions... A black cat walk in my path and I smile. I love how they look so mysterious and walk without a sound attached to their footsteps. I try to emulate that myself. Sometimes I even try to sneak up on them just to see if I can... Sounds silly but it's a challenge...*smile*

After work I was blessed with a real cool walking session, hanging out with A~Dawg and talking about life, book stuff, and staying focused on what we do aka efforts to better our work, careers, and anything else that places money in our paths.. As always it was a beautiful time... The night air was crisp and Beverly Hills was filled with everything from silence to distant party noises...

On my way home I stopped by the mailbox to drop off some bills and then I went to Walgreens to pick up some Arizona Sweet Tea... My friday the 13th wasn't much to the casual observer but for me it was a beautiful experience.. A perfect prologue to a peaceful weekend...

Comin' real soon...

 
 

Part three..

 
 

The rain kept me in today and besides that, I just felt no motivation to go anywhere... Cali folks aren't the best at driving whenever there's precipitation so I didn't want to have my defensive driving skills on full alert when my brain power just wants to just relax and sit on cruise control... 2006 is finally here. I figured I'd add a part three to my year end review series... Checkout part one and two by scrolling down through previous entries...

This year came in quietly.. perhaps its the quiet before the storm.. The storm represented by the onslaught of experiences due to come my way in 2006. I have no idea what's on the horizon though I dream constantly of success, my stories finally being read by others, and warm hugs keeping my journey comfortable like new years eve for which I'm grateful...

Speaking of new years eve... I spent it mostly in reflection and looking forward... I watched documentaries about folks I admire or that fascinate/inspire me.. People like Bruce Lee, Tupac, Robert Johnson, Son House, and slave narratives/stories told by Oprah, Angela Bassett, and others.. Each one of those represent not only life but a passion for truly living... inspiration...

All knowledge ultimately results in self-knowledge...
Bruce Lee...

I shared thoughts with a friend who lives in a distant tropical land... She suggested a new tradition to add to my personal pallette. Soba noodles... She said..It's a traditional japanese noodle dish that is eaten at midnight to represent long life. I ran out to the store and got some for myself, came home and whipped up my own little version of a soba noodles treat using that and some soup ingredients for a rich sauce that I'll have to do some extra reps for during my next workout session.. Next up as far as traditions go I'll have to indulge in the black eye'd peas that my mother has waiting for me to eat... I dont know that any of those things work but good tasting food is always a pleasure and seeing that the reason is a positive one makes it a double pleasure.. Thanks to Jody for the new tradition..

Jody and I continued our conversation via email and we discovered a mutual respect for "Magic," a powerful ingredient between two people that's hard to explain... chemistry... postive vibe... You just know when it's there or when it surrounds you... I've had it once in Seattle and it followed me to this romantic beach house in Hermosa years ago. I've had it in conversation with a woman who loves butterflies and smiles as if a feather were tickling her spine... I was excited that Jody knew what I spoke of and she confirmed it by sharing her wisdom, word for word from her own experience and from her own dreams... Real cool confirmation that my island of beliefs don't just float on thin air but that maybe I'm grasping for something that truly does exist no matter how fairytale like it may seem...

Jody's thoughts: Magic..........yes! That undefinable "umph!" Sexual attraction and all that do not compare when someone can literally touch your soul....That first kiss that hits you way down inside........the smell.....the essence that seems so familiar.....so comfortable.......it awakens something in your spirit....your heart......your mind.......the blending of all the senses...... Like that kind of magic? YES!!!

Ha haaa... Jody pretty much caressed the nail on the head though I likened this magic more to a shared piece of canvas where two people create...no boundaries...nothing framed and yet all movements follow a certain course that lead to wherever... no pressure... something unexplainable that feels good... Even the ups and downs or disagreements never knock the ride completely off course.. Magic still remains like that I-can't-wait-to-see-you-again-feeling...even if its just a stolen moment... Or another way to put it would be to borrow a quote from someone describing A Raisin In The Sun... “A work of theatrical magic in which the usual barrier between audience and stage disappears.” It's much better to participate in the making of something special than to put up all sorts of barriers that keep growth unbalanced and foundation unstable... confusion sets in..

Another friend of mine told me about something I was never aware of. It's another cool tradition that has existed for a long time and one in which I will make a point to enjoy at the end of this new year with a deeper meaning. Shelia shared an email with me about a tradition called "Freedom's Eve." It's a special gathering that dates back to December 31, 1862. It said in the email "On that night, Blacks came together in churches and private homes all across the nation, anxiously awaiting news that the Emancipation Proclamation actually had become law. Then, at the stroke of midnight, it was January 1, 1863, and all slaves in the Confederate States were declared legally free." It's been 143 years since freedom's eve and hearing about this from Shelia made me think of my living relatives and those that came before me who may have celebrated this tradition in a small church in Daingerfield Texas known as Mt. Moriah Missionary Baptist church; a place originally built and started by my great great grandmother, Moriah Rivers. There's some beautiful history in that country town...

2006 is upon us now and I feel another crossroads on the horizon... Hopefully it will bring more growth... In a perfect world it would come without sadness or sacrifice but those ingredients in life are just as important as sugar in a pound cake.. I'm looking forward to it.. I'm not always patient.. I want tomorrow to come yesterday... I wanna already see how this new year will unfold but as I've used these final days of 2005 and the first couple days of 2006 to cleanse my thoughts, it's time to wake up the spirit and do my thang. 2006.... I wonder what will be the new catch phrases... I wonder who will excite the world... I wonder if I'll be blessed with a little bestselling status... that would be nice... All good things are possible... I pray mother nature is a little kinder this year, though she's probably not the one to blame for these serious weather conditions... I'm looking forward to making some trips to the south this year... I hear it calling... But for right now I'm ending this piece with some old school Cali pacific coast highway traveling music playing in the background aka Steely Dan. I'm gonna get my workout on and wish the rain away... Happy New Year...