Ghost Of A Good Man...and Woman

Ghost Of A Good Man 

I feel like I'm repeating myself when I say that this past Sunday, I awoke to spiritual voices singing in my head. It's happened before. I even used this for a character in a story once. A story inspired by my family and by the power of the human spirit, which continues to prove itself constantly... The story is "Until Again" and what had happened was.... smile..

This past Sunday in the wee hours of the morning I was tossing and turning. I was deep inside a beautiful dream where I'd seen my grandfather's face. He was smiling and looking strong as ever. He didn't say anything but he was there. He's always been there for me. And then I began hearing this beautiful voice singing a gospel song. I wish I'd listened closer to the words just so I could remember what was being sung but I didn't. I was mostly captured by the beauty and the emotion of the sound. The voice was powerful. And as I came out of this dream, I could still hear this voice. It was coming from my television which I had left on all night. It was a beautiful feeling because my memories hold many Sunday mornings waking up in Texas; hearing the sounds of gospel music coming from a television or radio in my grandparents house. That's where I was this weekend, making a decision which left me wondering if I'm doing the right thing... Deep down I know I am and seeing my grandfather's image sort of confirmed this to me... I felt at peace when I woke up and now I'm back in crazy LA but I brought something back with me that also blew me away. An unexpected treat...

Again, what had happened was... I found some old cassettes as I was cleaning out a dresser drawer belonging to my grandmother. A few tapes had preacher names and titles of sermons. I listened to one where the preacher said to the congregation "when you shut up and straighten up, I'll do somethin..." I dont think he was directing it to them. It was more so in the context of what he was preaching about but I like the way he said it. I listened some more and then I played a cassette which had no writing on it and discovered a beautiful treasure. It was the sound of my grandmother's voice, reading a nursery rhyme. She read "Jack jumped over the candle stick..." It feels like it's been forever since I've heard her voice. The last five years of her life were a struggle for her. She could barely speak at all, which always frustrated her so much. During her adult life and as she got older she was always known for her sharp wit and her sometimes sharp tongue. She was a strong woman that would speak her mind and if you saw her lips get tight, you were in for a serious tongue lashing. Hearing her voice on this tape I consider a gift and perhaps even a special message. My grandmother passed away almost five years ago now and despite those moments when I hear her voice through memory or inside a dream, it was good to hear her for real, once again... sort of...