Happy New Year Review..

"It's one of those things where if you let it, it'll make you a better person.." I remember this guy telling me one time as we sat in a dark club with music pounding; money and drinks flowing everywhere. This was back in the early part of the last decade when I would frequent a local stripclub and became a noticeable regular. They pretty much knew what I would drink or eat without me having to order. Those days are interesting now as I look back on them; a sort of habit of the moment, at the time... That period in my life seemed to go hand in hand with what I look at now as being somewhat superficial fun. Age and maturity I guess does that to you. I mean, the jerseys over some jeans and Timberland boots. The chain around the neck. The nice watch and large amounts of money to waste and toss in the air. I did too much of that but it was fun- at the time. I was basically living in the moment, impressed by what seemed to appear as cool until noticing I’d become a caricature what was in. Then there were those nights when I’d run across actual good conversations, enlightening moments, and times that ended up as inspiration for what I would write about later. And occasionally, there are times when those voices from the club come to the forefront of my mind. Just the other day as I sat wondering what I would write about for my year end review, I couldn’t think of much to say. I struggled with this tradition I created for my blog... 2010 went by so fast and ended without any sort of feeling that, wow! It’s time to scream Happy New Year!! I didn’t feel like screaming but instead just wanted to relax and feel good because I had a three day weekend to enjoy with family and my love who makes every day, celebration in the deepest sort of way. 2010, where did it go and what happened? I don’t remember much except the end as my love had to go through the unexpected experience of losing her father. It hasn’t been a good feeling to see her go through it but at the same time, its been a blessing to be there by her side and to also be a part of such a great family that comes together and supports each other. And as that voice from the club re-entered my mind, I remembered that particular conversation was about adversity; the ups and downs of life. I remember this guy loved to speak in a serious but reflective tone for a moment and follow that with a satisfied smile. His satisfaction almost seemed like discovery as if he were surprised by the wisdom that accompanied his voice. Adversity, life changes, loss, and even the best of times can teach a great deal, if you let it but it’s those down times that cut the deepest and stain you with some sort of realization. The key is to pay attention and not allow it to knock you off your feet. You might trip but try not to fall. I don’t want to say 2010 represented adversity because it didn’t. It just ended with loss but for the most part, it was decent. The best part was my trip to the Philippines and the day to day, moment to moment love that I’m blessed to share with someone so special. She makes me feel like it's finally alright to love someone passionately... Other than that, each day blended into the next and at work, it was all about change, preparation, and vice verse. 2011 will probably be more of the same but with any luck, it’ll be highlighted by great times, adventures, and escapes from the day to day. So, I say Happy New year and just like every year now since late 2009, I miss my mom and pray she’s watching over me with pride.

Follow up tribute..

I’m old enough to have been blessed with the kind of experiences where I never feel like I’m missing out when it comes to the wild, the crazy, or the sort of experiences of today that are considered the “in” thing to do. What I miss is the potential of what could’ve been and how special the potential long lasting memory would feel like after having gone through it. Such is the case when I think about Mr. Narciso Peralta. The funeral has come and gone. He is missed especially by his daughters, his son, his wife and grandchildren. And I miss him very much too. It makes me question time and why things happen when they happen. Though he lived a full and wonderful life, I wish God could’ve given him many more years so I could enjoy his presence a little longer.

After experiencing my first trip to the Philippines last year, I placed within my heart a new dream to look forward to that would coincide with the dream that I experience every day. Like when I see my love’s smile or hear her voice or rest my head on her shoulder. My new dream and it may sound simple to others, but I truly looked forward to that day when I could hangout on the front porch with Narciso in San Carlos, Pangasinan in the Philippines and also going walking with his wife, Myrna to the market or to church; anywhere as long as I could experience what to me would feel really nice and special. I’m a strong believer in moments and how much they can potentially mean to your life, though it’s probably human nature to waste time and not realize the greatness of what you have. As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten better at appreciating what means the most and what I can carry with me regardless of where I travel. That sort of thing is carried within the heart and soul, filed under experience and hopefully exuded through some kind of wisdom that allows you to see and actually care about all that you’ve endured. Right now, this is a moment to endure because the pleasure that I could’ve received had that simple dream been allowed to come true would have been enormous. Not to mention the blessed occasion of seeing Narciso and Myrna enjoy their golden wedding anniversary and all the smiles, laughter, and togetherness of the family. Wow, it would’ve been the ultimate in good times.

Sadly, reality is a different story and dreams have to climb in the backseat sometimes. There will still be incredible moments and a lot of love shared amongst family but the presence of Narciso will be missed a great deal. His memory however, will be treasured forever… He’s gone too soon... Another one of those, “life ain’t fair” moments.

Narciso Peralta

God took with him another great one from this world. But this man leaves behind one of the most incredible families to ever exist on this planet. I'm sure he feels proud though he left too soon because I was looking so forward to many more smiles, great stories and blessings on the front porch. I will miss Narciso Peralta very much but the little time that I've had in his presence will carry me a long way in memory. And each one of those memories makes me smile. I was just wishing he could be there for the special days ahead and what a thrill it would've been to sit with him on a porch somewhere in the Philippines. I imagine he'll simply be there in spirit and I look forward to that moment. For now I pray he watches over his beautiful family and guide them from heaven. Rest in peace and in love..... always....

Shining Moment...

I had a nice shining moment today. I was honored at work with what they call the Presidential Award. I felt like Obama with my nice new suit purchased at the Hollywood Suit Outlet for a nice low price.... *smile* The moment was nice. I was honored and touched. As always, missing my mom and wishing she could've spent that moment with me but as they say, she's watching down on me with pride. If there had been a moment of words given to us who received this award, would've definitely raised the trophy in her honor. Nevertheless, I was blessed to share the moment with friends and my love who keeps me shining from within, always.... So, cheers to the moment!

What's the curve on this midterm?

"In a perfect world where America is sincere about helping or even allowing Obama to do good things for this country, everything would surely be alright for everyone or at least headed in that direction. Right now, direction is about as sure as a coin toss."

Leftcoast Sanity

I hungout on a Saturday morning checking out the "Rally For Sanity" put on by John Stewart. Or, I should say, a smaller version of it held in Los Angeles. It was okay... I'm not sure if it inspires sanity but hopefully the overall effect of it inspires folks to go to the polls and vote intelligently. The event here in LA looked like there was maybe a little over 100 folks in MacArthur Park; all watching a slightly large projection screen that broadcasted the actual rally held in Washington DC today. It looked like a pretty amazing event to experience live in person. I've always wondered what it would be like to stand in the Washington mall and witness a sea of people as far as the eye can see. I heard a report stating that this event today was "this generation's Woodstock." Yikes! *smile* Respectfully, I dont think so. A major event. A pretty cool idea, but a couple hours can no way equate to 3 days of a life changing, true representation of the culture during that time. This event will fade away. Woodstock; we will forever continue to watch the movie and be amazed by what went down... Still, I think John Stewart has something to be proud about. I wish the turnout in LA was larger and with a greater representation from all that make up this huge city but nevertheless, it was cool... Now, time to vote...

And Then...

and then it was Grandma's turn as she waited for her bus to heaven. In the end, her strength was all but zapped from her completely. She couldn't communicate, she couldn't walk, she couldn't do for herself, and she couldn't even understand completely when her son passed away before her. As much as it might seem ideal to be able to avoid pain and sorrow, I think an individual misses out when one doesn't feel and experience the whole gamut of emotions... Perhaps later on she understood. After she was wheeled in front of the casket, she became a little more quiet. After she'd seen the tears rolling down my face, she kept her head down. And when she was brought home, she didn't eat much... And then three years later on this day(Oct. 23rd) grandma passed away. Senora Mae Rivers. I'm grateful her beautiful spirit remains and the many lessons in life that she taught me through example and pride....

Another anniversary..

Time is like a double edged sword. It flies by and leaves behind moments of loss yet at the same time when it's good, it serves as foundation for something really special like the love I share with someone that gets more and more incredible because it's so real and so right... Anyway, last October 3rd marked the 12th year anniversary of my father's passing. It's mindblowing how much time has passed and how the so-called life journey has unfolded since then. And as I get older and relive memories in my mind, they become much more powerful as if I were stepping back in time. It's a weird feeling now to the point where I have to physically shake myself to snap out of the memory. Maybe that's how it is when you get older. And as another anniversary passes, I'm thinking I no longer have to say rest in peace to my father but rather, continue in peace and I hope all is wonderful where you are...

40 Years...

It's mindblowing that it's now been 40 years since Jimi Hendrix passed away. September 18, 1970. It would be many years later that I would learn about him and discover his art and I can pretty much recall the many times that I did discover something new, starting with the times I would just see his image on an album cover and wonder who he was. Then there was many years when I denied his music because I bought into the whole stereotype of being black, which meant you really shouldn't be into so-called "rock" music but that's silly... I was uninformed and not simply following whatever tickled my soul in a musical, artistic way. Then I embraced Hendrix music and loved his style, creatively, artistically.. His passion for what he did and/or wished to do. His struggles were obvious. so much pressure thanks to the world around him/us and who really knows what or how the drugs played a part in it. I've seen articles saying he did everything in sight and other articles saying his reported drug use was overly exaggerated. Either way, what's most important is his contribution to the world of music and how what he left behind has kept his spirit alive for decades after he's gone. People still talk about him. People wear his image on t-shirts and other garments, tattoos, etc etc... Artists influenced by his style, his music, his musicianship, etc... His voice is heard somewhere in this world every day and night.. Axis Bold As Love, Hey Joe, Wind Cries Mary, Little Wing, Machine Gun, Power Of Soul, Angel, Manic Depression, Castles Made Of Sand.. the list goes on and on... Songs that will keep him forever around...

Blasts From The Past..

These images bring good times to mind. That's the blessing about capturing moments, which later serve as reminders of where you've been, traveled, and ultimately wish to return to. There's one image that represents a time that I will never be able to return to. The image in which I'm standing on a fence on land which once upon a time belonged to my family. Sometimes I wish I still owned it and other times I realize that everything happens for a reason and; it happens when it's supposed to. That image represents the first time after my father passed away that I visited the farm and was met with the challenge of taking care of not only it but also my grandmother who was still alive then. I had a lot of help because my mom was also still alive. She kept me strong during what was a really tough time. One of those crossroads of life. I remember setting the timer on my little camera(pre-digital days) and running to jump on the fence to strike a pose. I stood tall and proud and I wondered, what was next in life...


The image of the colorful vehicle represents one of the first things I saw when love and I went to the Philippines. It was an exciting and curious moment. I was like "whoa, this is cool." In my mind, I felt like I was in photography heaven because in every direction I found the coolest things to capture with my camera. And as we drove further along I'd see the most interesting people along the way. It was the beginning of a journey and a moment in time that spoiled me beyond belief... I have no doubt the second time around will be even better. The challenge is making that happen and hopefully soon...


The image of the man represents when I went to Atlanta to visit a home that I owned there at the time. It was also one of those moments in my life that I wasn't most proud of because I was escaping a bad time in my life after allowing poor decision making to stir me in the wrong direction; pursuing unrealistic dreams with the worst kind of people pulling me down. Getting away to Atlanta by way of stopovers in Texas and Louisiana was a reminder of what I loved so much; photography. As I sat in a downtown park in Atlanta, I saw this man on the verge of walking right past me. I didn't have time to raise my camera all the way up, aim, focus and shoot so instead I lifted my camera slightly and snapped the shot really quickly. I prayed that I captured him in the shot and had no clue until I viewed the image later that evening. My discovery is what you see. I was excited. That excitement took me away from any and all problems or stress that I had in my life at the time. That was magic.


Finally, the image of the bed and the ocean outside the window was pure heaven. It was what my first morning in the Philippines looked like. And the feeling was pure magic, lots of love for SHE is the reason why heaven existed and still exists, and the best part that warms my heart was the sounds of roosters crowing in one direction mixed with the sights and sounds of the ocean outside. (a reminder of how I grew up during summer visits to Texas. No ocean but sounds of roosters) All I could think and feel was that I'd been blessed with the best of both worlds thanks to the love of my life. Her home in the Philippines is simply amazing and what could possibly be better than to have two people in love, surrounded by love, enjoying an incredible breakfast of longanisa, eggs, garlic rice, delicious pancakes, great coffee, and fresh mangos... It truly was heaven in more ways than I'd ever thought possible... the only thing missing was being able to call my mother and tell her what an incredible time I was having. Instead, I had to believe that somehow she was there in spirit with me or perhaps watching down on love and I from heaven above...


Most of this is written somewhere on this blog but tonight I had to revisit these moments in time. I happened to be browsing thru old images and these stood out... Life is truly an amazing journey, through all the good and bad... ups and down... crossroads and high times.... it is whatever it is....

Weekend of Anniversaries..

Emmett Till was abducted and later killed after whistling at a white woman. 1955
Barack Obama accepted democratic nomination, 2008.
Police clashed with anti-war demonstrators in Chicago, 1968
I Have a Dream Speech, August 28, 1963
Hurricane Katrina 2005
Beatles played their last major concert in Candlestick Park.
Lets Go Crazy by Prince released in 1984
Michael Jackson birthday.. August 29, 1958

Everyday this past week I kept hearing about an anniversary of some major event. It was mind blowing just to hear each one and how far or not so far this country has gone... And each story would be amazing to sit and relive via book or movie created in its honor... There's an event this weekend that I hope gets swept under the rug but sadly the news will cover it nonstop and the silliness of it will be covered extensively on Ed Shultz and Keith Olberman's show... God Bless America and it's incredible history...

Gen. Powell said it best...

It's a real shame this debate and all the subsequent protests, talks, airtime filling up news channels. All this anger continues to flood life's airwaves at the moment. I often wonder if the destiny of Obama's presidency was/is to bring to light the fact that America has simply had a bandaid over it's deep wound of racism all this time... No longer hidden, no longer disguised, no longer waiting outside the backdoor... it's here and on display.. the world is watching and probably laughing... I also thought religious conviction breeds a certain peace, understanding and empathy... This image/portrait that Gen. Colin Powell mentions in his comments should be held up high for all to see, especially those who carry so much anger based on perception rather than fact or reality...

Overall this moment doesn't seem so teachable as much as it appears to be an affirmation of the way things are...

The Lack...

“A lack of communication is the key to so much misunderstanding”

I often wonder why so many choose that route when it comes to their direction each day. What’s the motivation there? I know of two individuals in my workplace who use to greet me all the time. I’ve known them both more than ten years, just to throw a figure out there yet in this year they’ve taken it upon themselves to no longer speak to me, greet me, etc. Not that I mind. (laughter follows) I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything… But, as someone who likes to sit back and take note of various personalities and ways of life; I find the whole thing fascinating because there’s no reason for it. There’s been no arguments, no unkind words, not even conversation taken out of context. It’s just a scenario of wake up one day and notice poked out lips mixed with apprehension everytime you’re in the vicinity. Imagine the difference if there was communication? "Foolishness is a hard explanation to find," I once heard. So instead, I encounter like today for example; one of the poked-out-lip squad walking in the opposite direction, coming my way. She leaving work and me coming into work. She commences to stiffen her neck, hold her head straight, eyes pointed forward, maybe even holding her breath… It was funny looking from my vantage point; the ultimate in silly, unnecessary behavior. I wanted to laugh but instead I played the game too, though I looked at her because I wanted to see how long she could hold the stiff neck position. Actually, now that I think about it, the above quote has no merit in this situation only in that this person is not really someone I see or converse with on the regular so I feel like she would have no right to display such attitude but some folks fall into that other category. The one with a strong odor of ignorance. The one spelled out in two words, sometimes hyphenated and sometimes not. First word begins with an ‘A’ and the other an ‘H’.

What a wonderful thing..

What a wonderful thing, love is.. I was listening to this song(Al Green) today and it immediately took me back... Not too far, though. Mentally and heart-fully, if you will, it took me back to this past weekend when I was feeling so lucky and blessed each time I looked over at a certain someone who truly in every sense of the phrase, "makes my life complete." She does. I always long to have her near. To touch her. To hear her voice. To wake up and see her smile. It's something very special happening all the time.. I always wish it had happened sooner but as always, gotta write it off as being the way it's supposed to be. God's will in good time, as it should be sort of thing... As I always say to her.. "wow!"

2010- Twenty-Ten

My all time number one, numero uno artist, musician, performer, creative being of all time and forever has a new collection that I have to make mention of because it's super hot! I'm excited for Prince. I mean, I'll admit to being a little disappointed in recent past with respect to some of the recordings he's made, the productions, the songs, etc though he never disappoints live. He blows everybody out of the water when it comes to live performance and playing his instruments, etc.. but right now? His latest CD is hot!!! The songs take you back to better more interesting times when he was on the lips of everybody who claims to be in the know of "Pop Culture." Prince never went anywhere so I hate to use that cliche' of "he's back" so I'll just say that what he's rockin right now is super hot-hot-hot! I hope people show love and support and I wish him the world... :-)

Surf's Up On A Fourth Of July!

Happy 4th of July weekend! Not much to report for my fun in the sun except plenty of eating, most notably the 14 hotdogs that were delicious!! Had some fabulous BBQ ribs, some pasta with garlic shrimp made by my love and some other goodies that she threw together... Did some shopping with family and took these cool shots of surfers on the first day of this holiday weekend.. Other than that, not much going on... writing inspiration has been slow but love remains constant so that's always wonderful..

Still touching hearts...

I'm blessed and humbled by the mere fact that a story I wrote like a million years ago is still out there not only getting read but also finding its way into people's hearts... Honestly, I think I wrote the story back in 1998 or 99? I just know it came after a couple of trying moments in my life with respect to love and before a couple more moments that would rock my world as the lessons I'd learn previously went forgotten... But, the second time became the charm and I've awaken from it with something that I knew could exist without all the drama, frustrations, silliness, anger, negativity, foolishness, etc etc. True love fits nowhere inside that puzzle.. Anyway, I'm speaking of my story called Love Is 2 Blame, which is included in the ZANE anthology, Love Is Never Painless. I was truly blessed to be apart of that collection and to even have been asked. I'm no longer blessed to be apart of the Zane collection of authors mostly due to misunderstanding and direction but I am truly forever grateful to have had the opportunity as I've always been about simply creating something that could touch hearts and inspire thought. This story about love and exposing the inner thoughts of a man going thru a breakup has seemed to have connected with many. As recently as yesterday, I received yet another email praising the story and its character's. This particular reader (Christine) related mostly to the character of Shaylisa who was basically the heartbreaker of the story. The young lady with her own agenda and lack of concern for anything that doesn't result in her getting what she wants. Love is just a tool rather than a blessing or a gift to be cherished and developed into the ultimate... Christine wrote that the character of Malcolm(the one who's heart is broken) reminded her of her boyfriend. Ahhh well.. *smile*

Anyway, it's been more than ten years and that short story is still touching hearts.. Hmm.. I dont know, maybe it should be deemed a "classic" like Love Jones.. ha ha.. *smile* Either way, I'm as I said, blessed and I'm hoping that one day my story(Until Again) which I've talked about for years and years before can achieve the same classic impression as it is the love story that tops everything in my opinion.. *smile* Thanks to anyone who has read Love Is 2 Blame...

Happy Father's Day

It's been more than ten years since my father passed, but his presence and spirit remain in my heart and in memory. I remember everything about him and even his voice. I've come to appreciate his creativity a lot more. His photography was pretty cool, his business and going after it was great, and his talent as a carpenter/builder was pretty amazing.. I guess I inherited the creative side along with the love for traveling. I wish I could do that carpentry stuff and I wish I had his drive when it comes to starting your own business and hustling to make it work. Dad was good at that. He had his ups and downs and even went through a couple moments where he trusted the wrong folks and got burned financially as a result. That too we have in common... I miss his presence and wish he could've stuck around longer.. I think as I've grown older, he and I would've probably had a lot more to talk about on many different levels but the cards of life are played in ways you cant control but if you look beyond yourself, you can probably figure out why... My father loved using that old expression from the seventies; "far out!" when impressed by something. I think if he saw my photography work, he'd probably be using that expression all the time. Happy Father's Day, Dad... see you in memory again, soon...

Happy Juneteenth

Today is one of those days when I wish I was in Texas, on the farm, grilling some hotdogs and chasing it down with a long tall glass of red soda water.. *smile* Or in most cases, we would dust off an old looking bottle of Dr. Pepper. Times like these were incredible back in the day though as always, we don't appreciate it enough until it becomes a memory.

For those that don't know about Juneteenth and the major celebration that goes on, especially in Texas.. This day commemorates the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865 — two years after President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation. For whatever reason, Texas got the news late.. Some say they killed the messenger along the way but its amazing, the history of this country and how much lies beneath us as foundation for where we are now. But as we forget, move on and move forward, its sad that much of the blood sweat and tears of our foundation goes forgotten. There's a lot of kids out there that have no clue and many grown ups who don't want to hear anything about what once was so long ago.. Required viewing for everyone should be Alex Haley's Roots, Once Upon A Time When We Were Colored, and the Jane Pittman Story. I'm old enough to remember back in the day when Roots was on every night and all families from coast to coast were glued to the television. News shows would do stories on all the gatherings that people had as they sat and watched each episode of Roots. That was a really special time.. Anyway, Happy Juneteenth Celebration! Major props to Leimert Park in Los Angeles for throwing a big Juneteenth celebration and God Bless my grandparents on my mother's side. I visited their grave today. It's always important to pay homage and never forget no matter how great the loss...

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt by V. Anthony Rivers | Make Your Own Book