Sunday, January 16, 2005
Mentality Thang Or Just Plain Accepted...
New school way of life
Mentality or accepted behavior? I was trippin out over a conversation I had with this guy. He seemed like a nice enough person. Greeted me strong and we connected real good with respect to being two black men enjoying the Steelers win over the Jets. The conversation was about women. Seems like this topic comes up in pretty much every conversation lately or maybe I didn't notice before. The difference being the person or people I'm conversating with.
Yesterday the conversation came up when this guy asked me how many women I had. I laughed. I figured he was teasing me. Maybe trying to say that I looked like I had it going on in the women department. Only in my dreams is that fantasy true... I told him that I was completely single and only needing to visit the ATM once a week.
"I hear you, black man" the guy said.
We sipped our drinks and glanced up at the flat screen monitors showing the game. This guy's name was Kevin. One of the bartenders was this beautiful tall sistah with a gorgeous smile. Kevin ordered some french fries and chicken tenders after she answered his question about whether it was cool or not to eat at the bar. Then Kevin returned to our conversation about women.
"Dude, I have a lady and she's cool. We been together going on three years now" he said.
"Sounds like a good thing..."
"Yeah, but I met this other chick that I went out with last weekend, dude. This girl blew my mind when I seen her so I had to see what was up with her! You feel me?"
I just smiled but inside I was thinking about the fact that he told me he had a lady. I had a feeling he wanted me to high five him and hoop and holler but I couldn't. I just smiled, sipped on my drink and continued to listen.
Kevin said "yo dude, it's way too many women out there, especially in LA! It dont even make sense no more to just have one.Plus these women nowadays expect that shit."
"Expect it?" I asked. I tried not to give the appearance of being in shock but I was kind of trippin over the things he was saying.
"Yeah, they lookin at you from the start figuring that you got somebody but they dont care. That just make them come at you stronger. The best thing you could do is hangout with your lady at a club and then return a week later with your boys and see what happens."
"Oh yeah? What's gonna happen?"
"Shee-it... What you think? All them women that seen you with your lady gonna be knocking over chairs trying to get at you!"
I laughed at the visual of women bumpin into furniture trying to approach one guy but I listened. I also remembered in the back of my mind another guy trying to convince me that a man and one woman exclusively was a thing of the past. This other dude claimed that each lady was just a pitstop until you just got tired of changing partners. I had trouble with that analogy. I know we take from our experiences in life but I could never make a commitment to a woman with the idea that one day it would be over and that would be the natural thing to do. Times have changed and people seem to accept what's on the table rather than expect more. My thing has always been to never settle for less and to always seek out that relationship which will last forever. Funny thing though, fellas that practice what Kevin and the other guy preached are typically the ones who always got a woman. In essence...accepted behavior... new school way of life...