Thursday, June 04, 2009

Life-Decisions-Time


I rush home to check on her. She struggles to breathe. Her heart is weak. Her chest resembling forced movement. By the grace of God, she's still in motion. I look in her eyes when she opens them. She's not completely there. Disoriented. Confused. Bewildered. Descriptions that never could be placed upon my mother at any point in her life yet now, close to the end, this is how it is. Decisions now placed upon me that she warned and prepared me for. She always knew how it would go and I did too but when it's your mom, a whole different perspective rides on your shoulders. I've seen the end stages before in dealing with both grandmothers but especially on my father's side; Senora Rivers. I was blessed with my mother to be the buffer during that time in my life but this time I'm somehow finding strength through experience and faith, family and love... I clutch tightly to all that keeps me going and very grateful for that which keeps me inspired to move forward in the midst of what will come tomorrow... remembrance and sorrow...

1 comment:

april said...

I love you anthony. You have a beautiful soulam and I know right now that soul is griving but know that my thoughts are with you. *tighthugs*