Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Words Of Love And Wisdom

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This incredible woman always makes sense to me. Her beautiful voice, the songs she sings, the music she produces....always amazing. However, these words below dont come from any song, they come from her thoughts when speaking on the subject of love. I couldn't resist sharing this with anyone who happens by my creative world here on the blog... Take a peek, enJOI, and feel what this woman says...
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one thing i've learned about love in my 30's as opposed to love in my 20's is that my needs and desires have shifted and become A LOT more specific. i could accept and roll with a lot of generalities before. my patience was broader. my ability to "let it ride" was greater. i had a deeper desire to be with somebody and stay with them. simply put, most of what turned me on in my 20's turns me way off in my 30's.

after heartbreak and dissapointment became such a huge part of my everday living, getting beyond these weights molded me into another kind of creature.
am i jaded? sometimes. am i better? absolutely. do i still believe in love? you better fucking believe it. do i have the uncontrollable desire to love and be loved by that special someone? not really. my focus is not there anymore. my focus is on my daughter, myself, my relationship with my creator, my career, my health, my light. if someone comes thru and fits without struggle into that picture, in a comfortable, easy way, they can stay. but how i feel and what i need has become paramount. i mean, unflinchingly paramount. i have become neccessarily selfish. and you know what, that's ok. having developed this new quality will allow me to love smartly, deeply, honestly, passionately, and whole.

i'm confident of this.

joi
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2 comments:

Shelia said...

That was a powerful post because she expressed the exact things that I feel...at this stage in my life...I know exactly what I will or won't put up with...that's probably why I'm still single now. I refuse to just settle...my time is too precious. My family says I'm hard on men...no, I'm not. I just hold them accountable. If you say one thing, then your word should be bond. If you pretend to be a certain way, then you should live the life you portray..pretenders have no room in my life so until I meet the one God has predestined for me to have, I'm going to continue to enjoy life--with or without a man.

Ruminations of a Racial Realist said...

...one thing i've learned about love in my 30's as opposed to love in my 20's is that my needs and desires have shifted and become A LOT more specific.

I identify with this statement. I feel strongly that if people were more emotionally discriminating at the outset, they would find someone they were truly compatible with and the relationship would have a good chance of lasting. I explore this issue in my entry on "black relationships".