Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Leave The Song Behind
My blogging homegirl, Bloop left me with some old memories after I read her latest entry... It was kind of funny because it totally slipped my mind why I have a natural tendency to turn the dial whenever a song by Kem comes on. I mean, even a couple months ago as I stood waiting for my white chocolate mocha at Starbucks and that very same song that Bloop mentioned(I Can't Stop Loving You) came on, a frown came over my face and I just wanted the person behind the counter to hurry up and make my damn drink. Even she commented by saying "you know it's okay to smile?" I didn't smile. I was probably doing my best Ice Cube imitation with the kind of look I had on my face. As soon as the young lady placed my drink on the counter, I scooped it up and headed out the door... Yep, I cringe whenever that song comes on... When I made it outside and could no longer hear that song, I started to laugh at myself. I remembered an old episode of Jerry Seinfeld when Kramer would always go into convulsions everytime he heard that lady's voice from Entertainment Tonight(Mary Hart). I'm not that bad but- pretty close! *smile*
Why does this happen to me? Because it reminds me of someone I USED to be with, loved, etc etc... Kem's music reminds me of her selfishness and I hate to put that on the brotha's creativity but it is what it is- to me... I'm reminded of long trips with no compromise. Times when in order to avoid seeing the ugly frown that she was always too good at displaying on her forehead and in her eyes, I would let her have her way. She'd take over the CD player and put in Kem. Then she would need to hear the entire CD again... and again... The only break I'd get would be when she'd put in Jaheim.. I like Jaheim but after a while, I got tired of him too... She didn't care that I'd spent extra money to have a rental car with satelite radio in it so that we could enjoy some kind of variety with the music as we traveled. Nah, I compromised... Never got to listen to the variety that I love..Hip Hop, Neosoul, Old School, and everything in between... Thing is, it was a good example of how life would be with her.. Non compromising, never changing, no growth, stifling, trifling, and silly... Yes, we had good times and the love was there but when things weren't going 100% her way, 24-7, with me fixing all issues that she brought to the table from her life before me, there was no more oxygen left in the relationship and thankfully she ended it. I wish I had walked away sooner but I was holding on, hoping it would get better, and believing that the beautiful times we shared during the first four months would return. My apologies to Kem but yo dude, I just can NOT listen to you!