Christmas Letter

Christmas Letter 

Mama ask me to write down three things that I wanted and then give it to her. She say she need it so she can send it to Santa Claus. I dont believe her about Santa. He never visit us before. I know because the last two years I sit up all night and wait for him. Mama dont know. I usually wait till she fall asleep and then I just sit, watch and listen.

Last year I remember how I sat near my bedroom door. I could see the living room from there. I figure that if I hide, Santa wont know I'm watching. He aint showed up, though. I kept my eyes open even as it get light outside. Mama get mad at me last Christmas day because I was falling asleep while she serve me breakfast that morning.

This year when mama ask me to write what I want, I say okay but she have to ask me more than once before I did it. I overheard mama saying to somebody outside that she didn't know how she was gonna get me anything because something happened to her at work. She said she worried about surviving because she might not get paid. I think she got hurt or something. She walk funny like it could be her back or her leg. When I heard her talking she kept saying "if it's God's will, something will come of this..." I dont know what she mean by that. I just felt really bad because it seemed like she worry so much about doing something for me. I dont want to be a burden to mama. I dont want her to not have the things she wants. That's why I couldn't write three things down for her... I wrote something else instead...

Dear Mama...

I dont believe Santa drop by our house this year just like he aint come last year. Maybe Santa dont like people like us and maybe he ain't a man that feel sorry for people who dont have a lot. Santa only show up to happy homes. He dont come to places like where we at. We dont have no chimney mama, we got bars on windows and trash in the street. Santa aint coming here. Mama I know about you being hurt and I know you have a hard time with me. I figure maybe I go somewhere else so you wont worry so much. I listen one night to this man on tv. He a preacher or something. He say that in heaven loved ones is always safe. You always want me to be safe. You tell me this everyday when you wish for a better place for us to stay. You always say daddy in a better place and then you say a prayer and smile. Maybe you do this for me too, mama. Say a prayer and smile... That's only two things, mama... That's all I want...