Thursday, December 02, 2004

Back from my journey and ready for L.A.

Back in LA where life seems all so crazy again... Fancy lights, fancy ladies, pretty skies, and obnoxious drivers... It's a constant debate going on in my soul as I wonder how long I should remain here in this city. It's got it's ups and downs and I have no trouble finding good fun.... BUT... I'd like to have some good fun with meaning. To have a beautiful reason for all this madness like I used to have. You can't go wrong when your motivation is more than just about yourself or so I like to feel and believe. I'm stunned by so many who take for granted being able to come home to someone. Leave the world at the doorstep for a minute and just melt into the arms of the one you're trying to build forever with. I see it at work everyday... Fellas who speak nothing of their girlfriends or wives but talk nonstop about ladies walking by or ladies they want to "do" or "get with." After too much of it each day I become a hollow shell and the words just bounce off of me... I try not to take it too seriously but I still feel like if you have someone then that's the person you need to be celebrating. And if you're looking at others, do it because you're trying to compare them to her though there's no comparison because she (your special somebody) has your heart and soul.... I used to feel that way non-stop about somebody and she was the constant topic of my conversations, thoughts, and future dreams that I'd work towards. She's not any more. She removed herself from that position in my life in a cruel way with heartless words as things came to an end but I guess she had her reasons or motivations. In the end, that only uplifted me to become a better me and though I may carry a tadbit of the anger, I'm doing alright... And though I may be super cautious, life has treated me well... And most importantly, I still believe in L-O-V-E. I see possibilities that I may investigate... maybe. The major hurdle is believing L-O-V-E will find me in all it's celebrated glory rather than me continuing to celebrate it from a far with the hopes that others will wake up and realize... how good it is... I speak now (about LOVE) and forever hold peace in my soul. If I were to leave this earth today, I'd have no doubt that folks could resurrect me through memories; memories of the goodness of my heart...

1 comment:

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