Aunt Thelma 

Julia Patterson

Julia 


Ever wish you could step back in time? I wish I could step back and climb inside the mind of this woman. I wouldn't want to become her, per se. I'd just want to sit across from her and listen.

They called her "Mama Julia." She's my great grandmother. I wish I could talk to her some kind of way. Find out how she loved and lived. Walk some of the same steps she did. Listen to how others spoke to her or viewed her from afar. What did she listen to? Did she have a favorite song? Did she smile a lot? Did she speak often or was she reserved? Her eyes have a softness about them as if she were a little bit shy. Maybe she didn't really want to take the picture but I bet once she saw it, she smiled. I wonder if she covered her face or allowed others to witness her pleasantly surprised reaction? Somebody probably told her she was beautiful...

I wonder if her looks were a hindrance or did it open doors for her? How did folks react to her complexion? Where did she work and where did she play? Was she a church going woman? Did the men stare at her all the time as she sat while fanning herself on a hot Texas, Sunday morning? I wish I could step back and find her... Listen and observe her every move... Julia Patterson must've been a very interesting woman. Perhaps she's the inspiration for a story I wrote recently. A very special story, which I hope to be my next book. I found the contemporary inspiration and maybe Mama Julia is the past...

Shade's House

Shade House 

Not too long ago, I'd learned about this man named Shade. He lived during the early 1900's. He was somehow related to my great great grandmother, Moriah. Something about this man just stuck in my mind. Probably the whole mystery around his name had made me more curious. I asked about him and most didn't know. I did more research and found the general area that he lived in. It was as if his spirit was contacting me and maybe smiling at my efforts to find him because little by little I'd find the trail leading to who he might've been.

I searched around Green Street; a road that lies in an area between Mt. Pleasant and Daingerfield, Texas. I found someone who described Shade as a tall, very darkskinned man who kept to himself. I filed the description in my mind and continued on. Somebody told me his house was not too far away if I just continued down the road on back into the woods. I did just that and I could feel something. I could sense I was close. Then all of a sudden, I'd seen this house with a tall, very darkskinned man standing on the porch. His truck was parked in front of the porch so I couldn't see him very well but I could see enough to know he was there. It wasn't Shade but I would learn later that it was the house that he once lived in. I'm still searching for more about this man so I can place his spirit inside of a story that I'm working on. Shade Rivers...

In times of worry, don't forget who you are.....or were

Alzata Moorings 

I remember when this woman use to strut! She'd move about with so much sass. She'd laugh and hold her head high. She's lived a full life with many ups and downs, but mostly ups because she'd never let much get her down. She knew how to brush stuff off with pride. Let it fall to the floor and glide....away... She could go from being elegant to throwing a fishing hook in the water trying to catch her a "covina!" I ain't so sure if that's how you spell it but I can remember her always talking about that fish. She could do it all...

She's blessed with the love of a big familiy. She's celebrated with pride filled smiles, love and laughter yet now she worries. She surrounds her heart with thoughts about today. Life has placed an obstacle that's tough to get around. Tough to find an answer though she looks in the right place... But even during this time, if she can remember her journey and share what she's seen, no obstacle will matter. It's only LIFE she should see and be proud of... FAITH... Love you grandma aka the lady we all call "Mother."

Subtlety Shines...

Little signs always reveal subtle thoughts. Of course, what I see might look different through someone else's eyes. As the sun went down today, I looked out my window. I saw a shadow lying against a tall green ivy bush. The shadow was shaped like the state of Texas, the birthplace of both of my parents. As I get older, I feel like that state is calling me and like a stubborn child, I don't listen but I do think about it. I brush it off... I say, tell Texas I'll be there soon...

I was born in Los Angeles and eventhough I continue to have an on again, off again love affair with the city, it's home for me. Then again, I sometimes think of it as pure seduction because all the things I love about LA have nothing to do with feeling spiritually at home. I love the shine... The glitter.. The weekends where a brotha might mimic being at a tennis match because his head moves from side to side trying to keep up with all the beautiful attention getters parading by.(smile) LA is definitely seductive but Texas and the south got so much more... I'm working my way there... Time will reveal as I gain more courage to try...

Not much sense in Saturday...

Yesterday was gorgeous. The sky all blue. No clouds. If happiness serves as your current calling card, yesterday would've put you in a state of euphoria and had you bouncing off imaginary walls as if you'd lost all good sense. I envy you if that's what you felt. I found myself floating through the experience that was yesterday. I was stranded in wonderment, trying to figure out why I felt so stuck in the middle of neither feeling good nor bad. I couldn't tell what the hell I was feeling. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me either but the feeling was there... Then for a couple hours I escaped with the help of a fabulous friend, CFM. She sang and she shared her spirit with me. There's no greater gift than conversation with someone that shares and listens at the same time. An unselfish act that doesn't require practice. It's all about sincerity and being true..

After that blessed moment, I got the urge to get some chicken and biscuits from Church's Fried Chicken. I was reliving a two year old memory when I did the same thing in Louisiana. I fell in love with those honey biscuits. The ones out here aren't nearly as good as the ones I had in Grambling, Louisana but the memory was just as sweet. Then came a funny moment when a brotha asked me for five dollars so he could buy a piece of chicken. He just wanted to get something to eat, he told me. The trip part about it was that I'd seen him using a cellphone prior to when he approached me. How can he afford a cellphone and not be able to buy a piece of chicken? Not much sense to that but it was certainly reminiscent of my day. I had to write the whole day off as being one of those times that would've been better served if I had stayed home and out of the heat...

Midnight Magic Hour!

Midnight seems to awaken my spirit... I often wonder why when the stroke of midnight occurs, something inside of me boosts the level of energy to where I feel no struggle, no pain; just energy, creativity, and drive. My body and mind feels high like a feeling beyond any type of second wind concept. It's a situation that I try to move beyond the unexplainable.

It happens like clockwork, most times. I get a little sleepy around 11pm, imagine and/or fight off the urge to get a giant cup of coffee with cream and four bags of Equal. My movements become a little bit slower. I catch myself drifting. Take deep breaths and wonder if I'll make it. I warn myself not to fall asleep as if to say "do it and you'll have hell to pay!" I laugh off my threats to myself and continue on. Then when the clock begins to inch closer toward midnight, an awakening feeling occurs. My movements become more swift and my energy level becomes the equivalent of being inspired. I'm ready to take on anything. Work harder. Love harder. Write with an overload of imagination. Drive faster. Listen closer. Step outside and watch the sky. And from midnight to about 5am, this is how I feel... Shoot, lastnight I was trying on clothes at 4:30am, being all vain and having a little fun. A grown man playing dress up in front of the mirror... I looked good. Found a few combinations that work. Most importantly, I felt good and then about thirty-five minutes later, I was knocked out, sleep...

Midnight Magic Hour! I'm about to do it all over again tonight!

Real Life Yesterday 

In My Grandfather's Boots