The frustrating, the historical & the beautiful full circle

2008 I can honestly say was a lot better than 2007 though life remained a struggle in so many ways. I lost and had to let go… The down times moving in and out on a weekly basis; still having to deal with the same frustrations created by bad decision making on my part but at the same time witnessing the beautiful growth of something that kept me sane, hopeful and escaping the reality that always set me in a mental backwards spiral… sometimes… The hopeful was and is love. I couldn’t ask for more than what I’ve been blessed with thus far; the kind of love that makes the world a little easier to deal with. It’s an escape from the present into the future; feeling like past dreams and beliefs of how good it can be, colliding with sincere efforts to make it is just that…. Really good… The beautiful full circle also included CREATIVITY… whew… It’s the fuel that drives my engine in ways that keeps me passionate about life because without it, I wouldn’t have come up from the negative depths of 2007 or risen above the frustrations which I was forced to bring with me in 2008 and still must continue to deal with in 2009. Sometimes individuals see not the reward in being true to their word, thus causing them to latch onto ways to get over, get around, and avoid simply doing what they promised. And dealing with that sort of thing as I’ve had to do can drive a person nuts when all you want to do is learn, move on and move forward in life. No one wants to keep reaching back to deal with that which should’ve been over, but in 2008 I had to; over and over again… still… the beautiful full circle does it’s thing represented by what you see above and what has been represented in past months with the photography shown in this blog. I’ve got a triple threat of creativity flowing thru me right now.. the writing… the photography… and the music, which is an incredible re-discovery and yet a reflection of what can come to the forefront after dealing with adversity and trying one’s best to simply pull yourself up and move on…

2008 was exciting in that I watched and really kept up with the whole campaign and rise of the days away, soon to be Preseident of the United States, Barack Obama. What a trip it is to listen to all the opinions, the talk, the hopes, the dreams, the expectations, the detractors, the supporters, the accountable holders, the history lovers, and the list goes on and on… Soon to be President Obama will earn any vacations he takes during his time because so many place so much on this man’s shoulders to solve and so many will unfortunately not make it an easy task for him to accomplish anything… The cameras will be and are focused on his every move. He may need to invest in the “Just For Men” product ‘cause his hair might go completely gray in less than two years. But on a personal as well as historical note, it’s a beautiful proud image to see him where he is; an image etched in forever… I’m glad I could see it and wish that many of my family were around to witness this as well. I look so forward to his inauguration… What a proud moment in time it will forever be…

My 2008 ended very quietly…. A glass raised, a kiss; time shared with new friends/family and quiet thoughts; the kind that keep you humble because eventhough I carry a great deal of hope and even excitement for the days ahead, time moving forward always has the potential of taking away… I feel it every time someone says “the years are going by so fast.” When I nod in agreement, a lot of times my whole life flashes before me in my mind. I always see and imagine family members faces; their spirits... I see moments in time, emotions that lifted me up and took me down, good times and bad; the whole gamut of my life in ways that make me stop and marvel at how much I’ve seen. I thank God for the vision because mentally speaking, I can travel to a lot of places and pull out of it some sort of emotional attachment similar to what most may experience when hearing an old jam from the past… So many times I wish I could reverse time or undo certain steps that I took but every moment is important, depending upon how one recovers or in essence, learns from it. Still, reversing time would be really nice right now, not only for reliving the past but more importantly, going back to a day in time when the most important person in my life was super healthy and had no limitations upon doing what brings her happiness. Nevertheless, time changes everything like a rollercoaster ride surrounded by a neverending change of backdrop and scenery all around you… Time doesn’t just heal wounds, it bounds each moment like chapters in a book; titles written boldly and just like Obama’s moment, etched in forever… This was my 2008 and every moment before that… Greetings to 2009. I welcome it in a somewhat bittersweet fashion but still hopeful and prayerful…