Just thinking....

As life goes through its motions, you find yourself enduring some sort of heartache. And, if you’re a creative person you find your ways of expression becoming a little deeper because of what you've been though. If you write; you have more things to say. If you play music; you find a little more of an emotional connection to your instrument. If you paint you’ll find a little more realism reflected in your art. I’ve been through a few things in life though I never claim to be alone in my experiences. One can always find another who is worse off or who has suffered and endured greater challenges but to each comes its own trials and tribulations. Lately, I’ve found myself lost in thought, writing down ideas and words that will make for great stories. Hopefully what I express will help others and perhaps entertain. Maybe what I say will even give second thoughts to those that might be on the verge of following a similar path; right or wrong.

One thing that I do claim myself to be and am very proud of is that I am indeed a very creative being. I use many ways to creatively express myself. Perhaps it has to do with being the introspective person that I am; quite often put down because I don’t talk as much as some say I should talk. I figure all the differences that every single individual brings to the table of life is what makes this world go round and round. In other words, despite any ups, downs, and in betweens, I am me and for the most part I’m proud of that fact. I only say for the most part because I’m not proud of all decisions that I’ve made in life but then again, that brings me back to the point I’m trying to make. Life adds depth to the ways in which we express ourselves, especially with respect to those whose means of expression have to do with creativity.

Lately, I’ve noticed an improvement or perhaps more depth in two other things that I do creatively. One is my guitar playing. I love the guitar and have always messed around with it. I’ve been a big fan of the instrument as well as those famous and not so famous who play it. I used to play in a group with my uncle and we’d play at weddings and backyard parties with just me, him and a drum machine back when the technology wasn’t so great and the sound was so cheesy. Back then I hadn’t really lived and experienced all that I can now look back on so from a creative stand point I’ve come to realize that I had very little emotional history, if you will to put inside my playing. Now I find myself up late at night sometimes restless, thinking about tomorrow; I reach for my acoustic guitar and start to strum. I play with feeling. I strum chords that sound really good. The guitar feels like a natural extension of my body as if it belonged in my hands. I grip chords with ease and don’t always have to look at the instrument. Playing relaxes me; thus I’ve found more depth in this creative form of expression, which I imagine is due to my life and the living that I’ve done.

Photography has turned into a passion of mine unlike I’ve ever imagined it would. Perhaps it was handed down by my father who was a real serious photographer and had about twenty cameras and a professional dark room/studio in his house. Anyway, my need to capture moments in time has become a sort of daily craving. Many times when I don’t have my camera in hand, I find myself capturing moments visually with my mind or looking at things differently because I’m trying to figure out how I‘d photograph the subject. I look at people, scenery, objects, etc with so much more in mind than a simple glance. I believe that my photography is now showing a lot more depth not only due to me becoming that much more familiar with my camera but mostly because of that certain vision inside of me which sees things in my own way based upon my life’s experience. I really believe that if you have two photographers taking pictures of the same thing, you’ll likely see two very different visions. I experienced this recently by comparing a shot of a wall that I had taken in downtown Atlanta. It was the very same half brick and concrete, graffiti covered wall that a friend of mine had photographed before. She chose to highlight the entire wall and bring out the soft yellow tones of the concrete area whereas, I chose to focus in on the red brick area, which included a window with broken glass. I brought out the red, white and black tones of that section of the wall. I look at my photographs and wonder what goes through my mind before hand and why I chose that particular subject. I’m not sure most times. It's basically a gut feeling... I just feel some sort of emotional thing while at the same time I’m surprised by the end result because I’ll see a little bit more than what I’d seen when I initially took the shot. I love photography and most of all, I love being creative. And with life comes a deeper means of expression especially if you pay attention to every detail of it; good and bad, right or wrong.... but anyway...