Happy Father's Day

It's been more than ten years since my father passed, but his presence and spirit remain in my heart and in memory. I remember everything about him and even his voice. I've come to appreciate his creativity a lot more. His photography was pretty cool, his business and going after it was great, and his talent as a carpenter/builder was pretty amazing.. I guess I inherited the creative side along with the love for traveling. I wish I could do that carpentry stuff and I wish I had his drive when it comes to starting your own business and hustling to make it work. Dad was good at that. He had his ups and downs and even went through a couple moments where he trusted the wrong folks and got burned financially as a result. That too we have in common... I miss his presence and wish he could've stuck around longer.. I think as I've grown older, he and I would've probably had a lot more to talk about on many different levels but the cards of life are played in ways you cant control but if you look beyond yourself, you can probably figure out why... My father loved using that old expression from the seventies; "far out!" when impressed by something. I think if he saw my photography work, he'd probably be using that expression all the time. Happy Father's Day, Dad... see you in memory again, soon...

Happy Juneteenth

Today is one of those days when I wish I was in Texas, on the farm, grilling some hotdogs and chasing it down with a long tall glass of red soda water.. *smile* Or in most cases, we would dust off an old looking bottle of Dr. Pepper. Times like these were incredible back in the day though as always, we don't appreciate it enough until it becomes a memory.

For those that don't know about Juneteenth and the major celebration that goes on, especially in Texas.. This day commemorates the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865 — two years after President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation. For whatever reason, Texas got the news late.. Some say they killed the messenger along the way but its amazing, the history of this country and how much lies beneath us as foundation for where we are now. But as we forget, move on and move forward, its sad that much of the blood sweat and tears of our foundation goes forgotten. There's a lot of kids out there that have no clue and many grown ups who don't want to hear anything about what once was so long ago.. Required viewing for everyone should be Alex Haley's Roots, Once Upon A Time When We Were Colored, and the Jane Pittman Story. I'm old enough to remember back in the day when Roots was on every night and all families from coast to coast were glued to the television. News shows would do stories on all the gatherings that people had as they sat and watched each episode of Roots. That was a really special time.. Anyway, Happy Juneteenth Celebration! Major props to Leimert Park in Los Angeles for throwing a big Juneteenth celebration and God Bless my grandparents on my mother's side. I visited their grave today. It's always important to pay homage and never forget no matter how great the loss...

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt by V. Anthony Rivers | Make Your Own Book

June 8, 2010

Amazing.. that time thing again... it moves so fast and today marks that one year anniversary of the passing of my mom, Gloria Ann Rivers. I can't believe how fast it went but I always thought about how I would feel when this moment would come. I miss my mom and never stop thinking about her... That's a day to day blessing and a pleasure.. I never imagined she would be gone this soon.. I was hoping she would at least live to be in her eighties. I even thought she would outlast me. There were at least two to three times where that almost came to be but someone else I suppose had the plans already drawn out; moving things in the direction to where we'd learn our greatest lessons in life... I wish my mom would've expressed many of her thoughts as she came to the end but she held on and just worried mostly.. Me? I've learned and learned some more... picking up life lessons along the way that make me mad while at the same time wake me up. I can see clearly.... most times... And then I look to the blessings, especially love who blows me away with her thoughtfulness and caring. She puts forth the energy and thoughtfulness for telling me to make sure I acknowledge my mom's passing and visit her grave, etc.. She shows love and respect for mom's memory... That's an incredible thing. It leaves me in such appreciation for what I have now and the struggle it took to get here. The life lessons... So, here we are, a year gone by leaving behind memories that I'll never forget. Even those images that burn in your mind that you wish you could remove like looking closely at my mom's face, listening for her breath and realizing that she was gone. Then a few hours later seeing her body carried out of the house in a white body bag and knowing that just a month or two prior she was still able to drive and was more concerned about me having my favorite frozen yogurt which she found on sale at Ralph's grocery store... Time.... its fast and we take it for granted always... My visit to the cemetery was peaceful and this morning was a perfect backdrop to a time spent reflecting.. The weather was cloudy and grey. The temperature cool.. Not many around though from the looks of my mom's resting place, there's been a lot of people passing on recently and many visitors leaving behind beautiful flowers in their memory. I cleaned the area where my mom is and placed a few flowers. I reflected for a moment and then went to the church where her service was held. Unfortunately, the doors were locked. I sat outside and just enjoyed the breeze... I felt... okay.. Then I felt proud that I at least began this day doing something my mom always did and was proud of. I voted in the same polling place she always did... It felt like a milestone... time...

A Catch Up Moment

I haven't "blogged" in a minute. Time seems to be flying and in the process, I've been lazy; moving at a snails pace though my mind races like crazy as it always does... Thinking, imagining, wishing, dreaming, praying, appreciating, loving.. I'm feeling proud about my book on the Philippines. I think it's a beautiful reflection not only of the people, the country but most importantly for me..... Love... I can't say enough about the time I/we spent there and look forward to the next time...

Jump ahead to today... my first day in a couple weeks of not being lazy... Nope.. I got my butt up this morning. Took the car into the shop.. Ouch! Huge bill coming... but I expected that sort of financial damage just not that much!! I think I punished myself today as I usually do when I know a visit to the dealer is gonna lighten my wallet. I walked home.. It's probably a five mile or more walk. A good long walk is great for the soul, great time for thinking and watching the world.. I had my music playing on the iPhone and before I knew it, I was home... I took a quick breather and then decided it was time to do some yard work. I was in the backyard kicking up dust and dirt. I was reminded how this time last year I had the garden in the back looking incredible because I wanted something visually beautiful for my mom to see though she couldn't because she was struggling to stay alive.. Her last days and I could feel it but I still did what I could and kept the garden watered. She did get to see it a few times before she was completely bedridden... What a rough time that was. And then time flew by and here we are again... All I can wonder is what's next and all I can actually do, is make the best of even the worst when its necessary... Thank God for strength and the will to keep on keepin' on as they say....