What a wonderful thing..

What a wonderful thing, love is.. I was listening to this song(Al Green) today and it immediately took me back... Not too far, though. Mentally and heart-fully, if you will, it took me back to this past weekend when I was feeling so lucky and blessed each time I looked over at a certain someone who truly in every sense of the phrase, "makes my life complete." She does. I always long to have her near. To touch her. To hear her voice. To wake up and see her smile. It's something very special happening all the time.. I always wish it had happened sooner but as always, gotta write it off as being the way it's supposed to be. God's will in good time, as it should be sort of thing... As I always say to her.. "wow!"

2010- Twenty-Ten

My all time number one, numero uno artist, musician, performer, creative being of all time and forever has a new collection that I have to make mention of because it's super hot! I'm excited for Prince. I mean, I'll admit to being a little disappointed in recent past with respect to some of the recordings he's made, the productions, the songs, etc though he never disappoints live. He blows everybody out of the water when it comes to live performance and playing his instruments, etc.. but right now? His latest CD is hot!!! The songs take you back to better more interesting times when he was on the lips of everybody who claims to be in the know of "Pop Culture." Prince never went anywhere so I hate to use that cliche' of "he's back" so I'll just say that what he's rockin right now is super hot-hot-hot! I hope people show love and support and I wish him the world... :-)

Surf's Up On A Fourth Of July!

Happy 4th of July weekend! Not much to report for my fun in the sun except plenty of eating, most notably the 14 hotdogs that were delicious!! Had some fabulous BBQ ribs, some pasta with garlic shrimp made by my love and some other goodies that she threw together... Did some shopping with family and took these cool shots of surfers on the first day of this holiday weekend.. Other than that, not much going on... writing inspiration has been slow but love remains constant so that's always wonderful..

Still touching hearts...

I'm blessed and humbled by the mere fact that a story I wrote like a million years ago is still out there not only getting read but also finding its way into people's hearts... Honestly, I think I wrote the story back in 1998 or 99? I just know it came after a couple of trying moments in my life with respect to love and before a couple more moments that would rock my world as the lessons I'd learn previously went forgotten... But, the second time became the charm and I've awaken from it with something that I knew could exist without all the drama, frustrations, silliness, anger, negativity, foolishness, etc etc. True love fits nowhere inside that puzzle.. Anyway, I'm speaking of my story called Love Is 2 Blame, which is included in the ZANE anthology, Love Is Never Painless. I was truly blessed to be apart of that collection and to even have been asked. I'm no longer blessed to be apart of the Zane collection of authors mostly due to misunderstanding and direction but I am truly forever grateful to have had the opportunity as I've always been about simply creating something that could touch hearts and inspire thought. This story about love and exposing the inner thoughts of a man going thru a breakup has seemed to have connected with many. As recently as yesterday, I received yet another email praising the story and its character's. This particular reader (Christine) related mostly to the character of Shaylisa who was basically the heartbreaker of the story. The young lady with her own agenda and lack of concern for anything that doesn't result in her getting what she wants. Love is just a tool rather than a blessing or a gift to be cherished and developed into the ultimate... Christine wrote that the character of Malcolm(the one who's heart is broken) reminded her of her boyfriend. Ahhh well.. *smile*

Anyway, it's been more than ten years and that short story is still touching hearts.. Hmm.. I dont know, maybe it should be deemed a "classic" like Love Jones.. ha ha.. *smile* Either way, I'm as I said, blessed and I'm hoping that one day my story(Until Again) which I've talked about for years and years before can achieve the same classic impression as it is the love story that tops everything in my opinion.. *smile* Thanks to anyone who has read Love Is 2 Blame...

Happy Father's Day

It's been more than ten years since my father passed, but his presence and spirit remain in my heart and in memory. I remember everything about him and even his voice. I've come to appreciate his creativity a lot more. His photography was pretty cool, his business and going after it was great, and his talent as a carpenter/builder was pretty amazing.. I guess I inherited the creative side along with the love for traveling. I wish I could do that carpentry stuff and I wish I had his drive when it comes to starting your own business and hustling to make it work. Dad was good at that. He had his ups and downs and even went through a couple moments where he trusted the wrong folks and got burned financially as a result. That too we have in common... I miss his presence and wish he could've stuck around longer.. I think as I've grown older, he and I would've probably had a lot more to talk about on many different levels but the cards of life are played in ways you cant control but if you look beyond yourself, you can probably figure out why... My father loved using that old expression from the seventies; "far out!" when impressed by something. I think if he saw my photography work, he'd probably be using that expression all the time. Happy Father's Day, Dad... see you in memory again, soon...

Happy Juneteenth

Today is one of those days when I wish I was in Texas, on the farm, grilling some hotdogs and chasing it down with a long tall glass of red soda water.. *smile* Or in most cases, we would dust off an old looking bottle of Dr. Pepper. Times like these were incredible back in the day though as always, we don't appreciate it enough until it becomes a memory.

For those that don't know about Juneteenth and the major celebration that goes on, especially in Texas.. This day commemorates the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865 — two years after President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation. For whatever reason, Texas got the news late.. Some say they killed the messenger along the way but its amazing, the history of this country and how much lies beneath us as foundation for where we are now. But as we forget, move on and move forward, its sad that much of the blood sweat and tears of our foundation goes forgotten. There's a lot of kids out there that have no clue and many grown ups who don't want to hear anything about what once was so long ago.. Required viewing for everyone should be Alex Haley's Roots, Once Upon A Time When We Were Colored, and the Jane Pittman Story. I'm old enough to remember back in the day when Roots was on every night and all families from coast to coast were glued to the television. News shows would do stories on all the gatherings that people had as they sat and watched each episode of Roots. That was a really special time.. Anyway, Happy Juneteenth Celebration! Major props to Leimert Park in Los Angeles for throwing a big Juneteenth celebration and God Bless my grandparents on my mother's side. I visited their grave today. It's always important to pay homage and never forget no matter how great the loss...

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt

Look Beyond Shadows Of Doubt by V. Anthony Rivers | Make Your Own Book

June 8, 2010

Amazing.. that time thing again... it moves so fast and today marks that one year anniversary of the passing of my mom, Gloria Ann Rivers. I can't believe how fast it went but I always thought about how I would feel when this moment would come. I miss my mom and never stop thinking about her... That's a day to day blessing and a pleasure.. I never imagined she would be gone this soon.. I was hoping she would at least live to be in her eighties. I even thought she would outlast me. There were at least two to three times where that almost came to be but someone else I suppose had the plans already drawn out; moving things in the direction to where we'd learn our greatest lessons in life... I wish my mom would've expressed many of her thoughts as she came to the end but she held on and just worried mostly.. Me? I've learned and learned some more... picking up life lessons along the way that make me mad while at the same time wake me up. I can see clearly.... most times... And then I look to the blessings, especially love who blows me away with her thoughtfulness and caring. She puts forth the energy and thoughtfulness for telling me to make sure I acknowledge my mom's passing and visit her grave, etc.. She shows love and respect for mom's memory... That's an incredible thing. It leaves me in such appreciation for what I have now and the struggle it took to get here. The life lessons... So, here we are, a year gone by leaving behind memories that I'll never forget. Even those images that burn in your mind that you wish you could remove like looking closely at my mom's face, listening for her breath and realizing that she was gone. Then a few hours later seeing her body carried out of the house in a white body bag and knowing that just a month or two prior she was still able to drive and was more concerned about me having my favorite frozen yogurt which she found on sale at Ralph's grocery store... Time.... its fast and we take it for granted always... My visit to the cemetery was peaceful and this morning was a perfect backdrop to a time spent reflecting.. The weather was cloudy and grey. The temperature cool.. Not many around though from the looks of my mom's resting place, there's been a lot of people passing on recently and many visitors leaving behind beautiful flowers in their memory. I cleaned the area where my mom is and placed a few flowers. I reflected for a moment and then went to the church where her service was held. Unfortunately, the doors were locked. I sat outside and just enjoyed the breeze... I felt... okay.. Then I felt proud that I at least began this day doing something my mom always did and was proud of. I voted in the same polling place she always did... It felt like a milestone... time...

A Catch Up Moment

I haven't "blogged" in a minute. Time seems to be flying and in the process, I've been lazy; moving at a snails pace though my mind races like crazy as it always does... Thinking, imagining, wishing, dreaming, praying, appreciating, loving.. I'm feeling proud about my book on the Philippines. I think it's a beautiful reflection not only of the people, the country but most importantly for me..... Love... I can't say enough about the time I/we spent there and look forward to the next time...

Jump ahead to today... my first day in a couple weeks of not being lazy... Nope.. I got my butt up this morning. Took the car into the shop.. Ouch! Huge bill coming... but I expected that sort of financial damage just not that much!! I think I punished myself today as I usually do when I know a visit to the dealer is gonna lighten my wallet. I walked home.. It's probably a five mile or more walk. A good long walk is great for the soul, great time for thinking and watching the world.. I had my music playing on the iPhone and before I knew it, I was home... I took a quick breather and then decided it was time to do some yard work. I was in the backyard kicking up dust and dirt. I was reminded how this time last year I had the garden in the back looking incredible because I wanted something visually beautiful for my mom to see though she couldn't because she was struggling to stay alive.. Her last days and I could feel it but I still did what I could and kept the garden watered. She did get to see it a few times before she was completely bedridden... What a rough time that was. And then time flew by and here we are again... All I can wonder is what's next and all I can actually do, is make the best of even the worst when its necessary... Thank God for strength and the will to keep on keepin' on as they say....

Brand new book thang.. :-)

Random Discoveries by V. Anthony Rivers | Make Your Own Book

Happy Mother's Day

Wow, this will be my first Mother's Day without my mother actually here in the flesh. I can definitely feel her spirit. I've had dreams of her recently in the last month or two. She's smiling in each one. I've seen her (in my dreams) sitting with my grandmother and both appear happy and at peace. It's a welcome vision from the last time I saw her-here... I will never ever forget last year, especially during this time as the changes in her mind and body began to happen quickly. The inevitable became more and more visible and I had to recognize that she wouldn't be here. It was a time when I had to reach for a kind of strength that I didn't know I had. The good thing about this blog is that I can look back to May of last year and see what was on my mind. It was a lot of reminiscing going on. A lot of wishing I could turn back the clock. I still wish that and many times as I discover new joys in my life, I wish even harder that my mom was still here. The other day I was thinking about two things introduced to me by the love of my life. Two things that I would love for my mother to enjoy. One is this dish called Rellenong Bangus, which is "stuffed milk fish." The taste is sooooo delicious and just the texture of the food reminds me of something my mother would enjoy eating like crazy. Then there's the trip that I took, of course to the Philippines and spending time at Love's beautiful place on the beach. My mother was crazy about Love(Lorna) and she probably would've smiled with so much pride to see such a beautiful place. She would've said "wow!" and "oh my goodness!" many times and when I was there, I did have one dream of my mother. It was quick like a flash... She was smiling... Maybe in spirit she's enjoying all of this too... And seeing me blessed with this kind of real, special and truly supportive love probably has her feeling completely at peace... probably another reason why in those dreams I see her smiling... I also remember this time of the year as a time I would struggle, trying to figure out what the perfect gift would be. I had to work extra hard because the following weekend is always her birthday. Sometimes she'd try to let me off the hook so to speak by announcing that once again she'd be going to Las Vegas with my aunt Tamer for her birthday weekend. That being said I would buy her one of those gigantic extra large greeting cards for effect and place inside of it some money to use for gambling in Vegas. That seemed to always please her but then again, she's a mother and mother's are special... *smile* Happy Mother's Day..

The Most Unique Gift Of All

"We don't have forever to get it right but for those of us blessed with time, we can at least learn how.."

Life affords us so much that many dont take into account. In my mind, my opinion, it seems better to stack the chips of experience rather than marvel at the size of the bank account. Money is nice too, don't get me wrong. I could use a healthy sum and put it to use in the name of heaven about 12 hours flight away from here.. But anyway, today as I was doing some much needed chores inside and around the house, my mind drifted... I was thinking about "time" and faith, not in the religious way though it all comes out in a spiritual way to some degree. It's like time/life affords us the gift of learning and its not free. It cost everything you can ever imagine and everything you can't even foresee. It's like when they give you the cliche that things happen for a reason; it does. Timing is everything; it is.. but what we do with all that is the determining factor in all of the above... In my mind today I kept saying "have faith, it'll all workout." And even if it doesn't, that too is as it should be because if your heart is in the right place and you are true and deserving, there's probably a better and more fruitful path to that rainbow you wish to see... Have faith, believe, stay true and do the unthinkable in this day and age by occasionally being nice. That part don't cost you nothing, as Ashford & Simpson once sang. *smile*

On my recent trip to the Philippines, it reminded me of so much as I've mentioned in previous posts. And despite me being born and raised in the big juicy city of Los Angeles, California, I am so grateful and thankful to my parents and my grandparents for exposing me to the other side of life known as "simplicity" during a time when things were just that; simple. It changed over time and I swam along with that; going thru my this and that, here and there experiences that brought me to this day; still living and blessed with the ability to look back with hopefully that lightbulb of wisdom that illuminates future steps and mis-steps before they happen. Man, in the Philippines, despite the obvious hardships and poverty etc etc that's truly a shame when you look around, I still witnessed happiness, smiles, laughter and endearment from those that were in that sort of predicament. The will of people is very strong and we can all sustain in the face of so much. It makes you wonder how and why in our own lives we would get upset over something as simple as our favorite whatever being out of stock at a store or those who are blessed with so much getting upset over the slightest inconvenience happening one day out of the blue... We trip so hard when there's no reason to even travel that direction. Life through its ups and downs, speed bumps, joys, disappointments, assholes getting in the way, victories, losses, and on and on and on and on is truly amazing... What a world we live in and yet we see so many adding their ingredients to a very large stew, causing so much bitterness, difficulties and strife... But that simple life that I spoke of? That was like sugar... Like a small bag of equal being added to half a cup of hot coffee... *smile* when it hits your taste buds, it feels just right.. God Bless it all and umm... it's always so nice to think... *smile* Kaibigan. I love the sound of that word for some reason...

Another Look At The Philippines..

Here's another video look at my recent trip to the Philippines.. Looking forward to my return there one day in the hopefully not too distant future... This ranks up there as one of my best vacations ever!

Thank you 2 The Moments..

As I continue to embrace the memories that's been hitting me from time to time this week following my special journey to the Philippines, I can't resist talking about those moments that made me smile really big. Of course, I was always smiling inside thanks to love spoiling the heck out of me as she always does no matter where we be but there was also some really cool moments that I will remember and continue to take with me... Those moments when in a faraway land, mean something extra special to you. Hanging in the Philippines, there were those chance moments when I'd come across another black person. In Boracay I noticed this fella walking along the beautiful seashore, nodding his head with excitement like a yesssss moment when a sense of pride overwhelms you. Then I realized he was doing that because of me. Love said "there's a brother!" I laughed and then I greeted the brother from a distance with a smile. It was like a strong handshake that squeezed tighter out of real true sincerity and it felt good. He continued on his way but the prideful moment lasts forever. In Tagaytay there were a group of singers moving from table to table at a restaurant called Leslie's. They could sing any song you requested and they did it very well. One of the singers was a tall fella that looked to be a cool mixture of black and filipino. When he approached our table and made eye contact with me, he put his palms together and bowed with pride. I nodded in agreement that it was a blessing to make the connection and he was a helluva singer... In Manila at Green Hills Mall, an elderly black woman greeted me the moment she saw me. "Hello, how are you?" she said in a very distinguished voice. I returned the greeting and she continued on her way... Those were good moments and sometimes that's all you need to put strength in your heart for those times when the flow of life ain't so good. Downtimes are inevitable but so are the upswing moments if you keep striving, think positive and be faithful to your pursuit in knowing that you are deserving... That's one of the main reasons I was blessed with love... the right time and as she says, "God's will.."

Video Celebration of my Philippines Visit...

Thank You Philippines from Anthony Rivers on Vimeo.

Children of the Philippines

I have to say that during my recent trip to the Philippines, I got a big kick out of photographing the children. It just happened by chance. I didn't plan to take so many pictures of children but you cant help it, or at least I couldn't. Every shot I took I wondered what the future held for them. Many of them were either begging for money or selling fruit and other items to make money. I pray this phase of their lives is a short one and they prosper in every way they dream and imagine or better yet, find a way to become inspired to do and become more than what's been shown to them... I have to thank them for all the great smiles and hellos given to me... Salamat..

Thank You Philippines...

Imagine traveling thousands of miles to another part of the world to find what you've not only been missing but what you've been looking for every time you return to the birthplace of your parents. Such has been the case with me. My parents were born in Texas. I love that state with a passion as well as neighboring, Louisiana. I can never get enough. For many years I would travel there at the same time of the year, seeking, searching and hoping I could find and reunite with old feeling and experiences from the days gone by. Meaning, the incredible summers I would spend in Mt. Pleasant Texas as a child with my grand parents, Virgil and Senora Rivers. And all those moments and times with my parents(Virgil Jr. and Gloria Rivers) visiting the farm in Texas. I've learned by experiencing the last year of my mom's life recently that preparation is everything and so much of my life prepared me for the incredible trip/journey that I took to the Philippines thanks to my special love(Lorna/Mitos) who showed me her birthplace and so much more.

I was warned of the heat that I'd experience in the Philippines. I smiled. Everyday I kept asking, "so umm, when does it get hot out here?" *smile* Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Georgia prepared me for any kind of heat. When I got off the plane in Manila, I felt like I was in Atlanta. The only difference was the fellas trying to pull my luggage away from me just so they could get us in the position of having to tip them. It was just the beginning of what would become one of the best trips of my life. I was also warned of the mosquitos. I didn't really notice them until almost the end of the trip when I saw a couple bites. The only minor annoyance was the funny looking lizard that kept making a funny sound late at night. His sound is the exact same thing as if some one were beating on glass with the edge of a coin. tick tick tick tick... When I first heard the sound, I said to love "is someone knocking on your window?" She laughed and told me it was the tick tick lizard... The only major annoyance was the guys selling sunglasses on the beach in Boracay. One after the other makes you feel like "dang!!!!! didn't you see me two seconds ago say no to the other guy!!" They drove me crazy along with the DVD sellers in the Green Hills mall.

Anyway, the Philippines felt like home right away. We hit the highway, headed for Pangasinan. I felt like a kid watching the best cartoons except my TV screen was the car windows. I didn't take pictures right away. I just sat there watching this part of the world. Traffic was crazy in Manila and it took a while to get out of the city but I loved just being there. I was fascinated by the poverty followed by the more well to do areas. It was different from what you see in the states on one level but at the same time as we got outside the big city and I saw more scattered areas of poverty, it reminded me of the Mississippi delta region.

My first really fun moment was getting stuck in the middle of traffic somewhere in the Pangasinan province. I'm not quite sure where we were exactly but traffic was at a stand still and that's when I grabbed my camera and started shooting. I looked all around and noticed how colorful everything was. The jeepney's, the trike's, the bike's, etc etc.. Everybody revving up their engines and blowing horns at each other but no one appeared angry. In Cali, I'm sure a traffic situation like that would result in a bunch of fist fights and road rage. There, they just blew horns and inched their way forward until somehow the gridlock of traffic unlocked itself. Soon after that we made our way to a place called Calasiao where love said I'd be able to eat the best "puto" you'll find anywhere. When we pulled into the area, young women reached their hands forward and began to desperately wave for us to come to them. I guess you can say competition is stiff right there and every peso counts. I also experienced my first moment where young children came over to beg for coins. It's somewhat heartbreaking to see the little faces pressed up against the windshield of your car, begging for you to roll down the window and give them something...I pointed to love so they waited for her. *smile*

And then finally we reached San Fabian, the place where love flourishes and the incredible Efren and Violi work hard to keep the beautiful beach house estate looking just that... beautiful.. And I was blessed to be able to stay there and be spoiled constantly... i'm not used to that sort of thing; being spoiled and having others do so much for me...

Anyway, there's so many moments I can go over and eventually I will as they come to me. That was just part of the first day's arrival in the Philippines and believe me, from day one to the end of the trip, it was filled with moment after moment.. We were super busy, back and forth from Manila to Pangasinan to Tagaytay to Boracay... I'll write more as it all comes back to me but I just wanted to share something really quickly before going to sleep and preparing for my back to reality moment. I'm back home in Cali and already missing the Philippines. But more importantly, I'm so thankful for love, her fabulous friends, batchmates aka classmates, and her truly amazing family... I am truly blessed and I hope my mom is watching from above, maybe smiling or shaking her head and saying "wow Anthony... " Thanks again to the Philippines!! Mabuhay!

The Strange..

People are strange. People waste so much time not doing or being who they pretend to be. Imagine a life where no one takes advantage of anyone. Where no one tells a lie to get over. Where no one evades and avoids the truth in order to keep you waiting for something they had no intentions of doing in the first place. The world is full of folks like this and I keep running into them. This instance isn't as bad as the one which almost ruined my life and became a headache in the worst most undefinable way but nevertheless, this encounter was so unnecessary and a complete waste of time. Just someone who claims to provide a service but is too lazy to do things the right way. She keeps you wondering, waiting, calling, asking why, when and nervously she responds "tomorrow..I'll call you..." and then.... no call... Yeah, this encounter reminds me of the first one.. Another woman who lives her life telling lies every single day. They say that kind of stuff catches up to you. I'm kind of hoping I'll hear about it when it does catch her or maybe it has already. She'll be the subject of something I'm looking into... I thank God this latest encounter with a clueless individual only lasted a few weeks and yesterday I felt exhausted. Dealing with liars is an exhausting journey. The first one(PT) lasted three years and she still didn't honor her promise. The second(LL) is just plain stupid. Yeah, those are initials... *smile*

But life is just and things happen for a reason.. I fall back on love for comfort and find hope in the fact that another anniversary is around the corner for a very special union that began two years ago and is still so passionate, full of smiles, and without stress... I dont know how long I'll survive in this world with all the truck load of BS you have to negotiate around but whenever I go, I will feel like I was at least able to discover, to find what I always dreamed of in a woman, a lover, a friend.. someone who could be your everything and make you feel like sleeping with your eyes closed is actually okay and when you wake up the next morning, guess what? She's smiling again... Aint nothing strange about that... Pure blessing.. The other stuff, the other ish... I'll find a way to survive...

Valentines Weekend...

Love is always in the air for me and has been so for a couple years now. I am truly blessed despite the ups and downs that life and this world may bring at times. This weekend brings me memories of life changing decisions and incredible moments of celebration… discovery.. love… appreciation.. The incredible outweighs the bad but sometimes the bad is like a staple so hard to remove that instead you fold the page just to avoid it for the time being. Still, sometimes you return to that page, unfold it and analyze the significance.. Then you realize, no mater how much you relive and re-think the moment, it all boils down to cliché’ wisdom.. That verbal write-off when you say; it was mean’t to be; things happen for a reason… somebody up there somewhere, pulling the strings…. Life providing you with a test to see if you’ve learned anything from before... Anyway, on this Valentines Weekend, the time machine in my mind that kicks in from time to time for whatever reason took me back to a few years ago.. three or four when I was living the high life… riding high, money, chillin in Vegas during the NBA All-star weekend, being impressed by all that is fleeting and truly not real.. I was the perfect candidate for what was to come soon thereafter… The big tumble, the fall, the brink of disaster and so many other words that describe the result of poor decision making and not listening to previous life lessons; stepping backwards and falling down... But again, the cliché wisdom flashes across the screen and perhaps its one of those defining moments that you can take several lessons from… I have and it’s kept me thankful in the most profound way with respect to where I am now. There’s a whole lot of moments in my life that I wish I could return to, but that’s one that I never want to relive so I appreciate to the fullest what’s been given to me now and who has been placed in my life… another one of those meant to be exclamation marks, yet in this instance it has more to do with the lessons learned than reaching for something akin to forcing a square peg into a round hole. Some things aint supposed to fit but try as we might, we eventually wake up, most times after the consequence… So, on this Valentines Day, I say happy Thanksgiving *smile* because I’m so thankful to still be able, be willing, be desiring, be anxious to give… Give of myself and receive something so beautiful, so incredibly special in return… This time it’s so very true…

Always moving toward the dream...