The dream was exciting and beautiful; the anticipation of which had been matched the moment we stepped off the plane holding hands and looking out for each other. We owned that airport, walking as though we were in our own world; the king and queen, princess and prince... Our chariot awaited, we hit the road not knowing what our journey would bring despite the planning that went into it all. Nevertheless it stayed beautiful because of her, matching all the effort, wishing, wanting, and sharing that I could muster up. I kept thinking that I'd never experienced this before; someone like her. It was a blessing and an honor to share with her, all that meant so much to me. During our journey, lightning struck all around us. I offered that we stay put for a moment but she feared nothing about mother nature. She wanted this journey to continue as planned and so did I. It was a sign of more beautiful moments to come and a strong desire to do it all over again...

Hope, change, what...

Will we begin to love ourselves more or will the division and destruction continue.. Ignorance is a practice that's dedicated to going nowhere; staying put and grounded in same-ness. Change can mean growth or at least a fresh approach to moving forward, moving on. One never knows but you gotta try. Live for something better or at least inject pride within your reflection before you die. We can't live mistake free but at least we can stand stronger with less contradiction to our belief... Anything is possible, even hope...

-VAR

Took this shot on Saturday while waiting for my photoshoot to begin. Makes you wonder what's really on the minds of folks out there.

Cool image weekend...

Images from the weekend photoshoot and other places...

Very cool moment

This was a beautiful moment when I was blessed to catch up to this lady and give her a canvas copy of the image that I captured of her a couple months back. I had always wanted to give it to her and yesterday I was able to do so. Bringing happiness to even total strangers is a beautiful thang. I pray I'm always able to continue the trend of bringing happiness, especially with this gift of photography...

So, I walked in the direction of love and discovered it had been in place, waiting for me. This place I had walked by many times, curious about the vibe, the sound, the rhythm, the energy. I peeked inside for a moment. I saw my reflection and it startled me but not enough to keep me from continuing to look, to gaze, ponder and consider. There was so much to see and absorb. This would be a learning experience twisted upside down because nothing appears as it seems. Throw assumption out the window and live for the moment. Take in everything and see where it falls because this may have the potential to lift you up and be that necessary glue to hold your future together. I walk a path now that looks similar to what I've always dreamed about. I wish I could do more to demonstrate my gratitude. It's almost unreal; the past, surreal. I remember it to keep my feet grounded and pray about the potential of what I envision the future to be. I toggle back and forth, images in my memory bank, sound bites recorded on my internal heart-drive. I remember the misquote taken from a favorite movie of mine; a sign of a bad fit in my life. I play that against the vision of my grandfather's rocking chair; a face smiles at me. Seems like she belongs right there. Always wanting to keep me full; anxious to enjoy what I've seen. It feels so comfortable when real true happiness is free.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone... I'm blessed with a fabulous mother that has gone beyond the call of duty to be there for me and make sure I do okay and that I am, okay... I can without a shadow of any doubt or twisting of the truth say to you, I wouldn't be right here, right now if it hadn't been for her and I'm not just talking about birth... And special mother's day wishes to those departed love ones, from my grandmother's on backwards in time.. Alzata Moorings, Senora Rivers, Julia Patterson, Lucy Rivers, Moriah Rivers...

"Get it together and pass it on..."

--Ruby Dee

Portraits In Protest

Thoughts 2 Embrace

I wanna share an article that I found through an exceptional photographer friend of mine(Laretta Houston). This is definitely something to live by, strive for, think about, etc etc... Check it out...

Knowing Authentic Love

I always say that "Love is the final destination of our healing journey." I believe this because if the one thing that has hurt you most, is something that, with proper healing, you can learn to believe in again, that my friend, is healing!

So what is this thing called love, and what are the rules that make it work, or not work?

To begin, for the record, when it comes to authentic love, feelings such as fear, insecurity, rejection, abuse, anger, abandonment or harm are not love. These feelings and emotions describe abuse. To love someone and to fear them does not equal love. It equals pain and dysfunction.

With that said, the best description of love, I believe is found in the book of Corinthians. It describes authentic love as " patient; kind; not envious or boastful; not arrogant or rude. Authentic love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

So, how does this translate to real life? Authentic love looks and sounds like this:

Love is patient. In other words, it does not have a short fuse about the little things. Authentic love is accepting of you, faults and all.

Love is kind: In other words, the words used toward you are gentle. There is no name calling, or insults. Certainly, there is no sarcasm (which by the ways, means a cutting of the flesh). The actions of love are even kinder. There is never any physical harm, or physical or emotional abandonment.

Love is not envious: In other words, it is not jealous of your time, space, promotions or growth. Authentic love never leaves you 'wanting' or leaves you feeling overly needy. Instead authentic love finds happiness with what they have.

Love is not boastful: Authentic love does not talk about your private life, publicly without consent (i.e., sex). Love does not "trophy-girl" nor does authentic love think the most interesting conversation is themselves. Instead, authentic love understands that behind each human is a person with feelings, emotions and privacy.

Love is not arrogant: In other words, it does not have a "me first" attitude, which means love does not put their life or their needs, holidays, financial security or position first and discount yours. Love does not compare "their" way against your way. Nor does it say things like, "I made all the money, you just raised the kids." Authentic love rather, thinks of the other partner and puts them first. Authentic love has an attitude of "you first and me second." When two people operate with this spirit, everyone always comes out on top.

Love does not insist on its own way: In other words, authentic love gives you a voice and a vote. The regulations of the relationship are determined by a committee of two, not a dictatorship of one.

Love is not irritable or resentful: In other words, authentic love does not bring up the past. When an issue has been discussed, it is resolved and forgotten.

Love does not rejoice in a wrongdoing: In other words, it does not lecture or punish with pride. Authentic love instead allows for mistakes and "being human."

Love rejoices in truth: In other words, love does not question your reality, or lie about their reality. Love speaks the truth in finances. Love speaks the truth about their life. Love speaks the truth about you, rather than create false fears, harsh judgments or false insecurities. Love can also hear the truth. It can hear about its faults and areas of improvement.

Love bears all things: In other words, it does not expect perfection. Authentic love is accepting that not all things come in the package they demand. Therefore, authentic love is not judgmental or overly strict.

Love believes all things: In other words, love does not interrogate or drill you. Authentic love takes you at your truth-telling word and believes in your character.

Love endures all things: In other words, authentic love will not abandon easily, especially when things do not go their way. Love instead looks for a new life-giving way of creating path that is fair, safe and empowering for all parties.

By Dr. Tracy Kemble

W.I.N. Foundation

I’m writing a beautiful story right now that may never see the light of day, so to speak. That’s okay. It’s fun to write because I enjoy it rather than for the purpose of being published. The journey is much more satisfying because of the reflection of both reality and imagination. The escape, so much more revealing. The story doesn’t fit the typical category that you see displayed across every bookshelf but to me has a little bit of everything including what I enjoy the most and that’s a character who discovers the past through strangers. Quite often I meet family through stories told to me by close or not so close, aunts, uncles and cousins. That’s one of the things I miss most about traveling, especially to Texas. The stories fall from the lips of those southern voices with excitement. It's like riding a roller coaster that starts off slowly and then twists and turns until reaching some kind of euphoria before coasting back toward the sense of calm that started off the ride. That's what a conversation feels like when I sit down with someone who knew about so and so from back in the day. And then they might tell me how much I favor that person like a family trademark, a way about my smile, the shape of my forehead or the way I carry myself. It's nice when I hear the family name mentioned with pride and interesting when there's a cloud of mystery about some dark figure from long ago, making me wonder if I was truly related to that person or not. "Yeah, they was kin to you!" I might hear. I'm writing a story that reflects a lot of that... The mystery, the romance, the good and bad that comes along with the discovery of kinship because sometimes you ain't always proud of what you find out and other times you're blown away by the beautiful discovery so much so that you wonder in which way do you contribute to the lineage. What will be said about you in time; after your time...

"To be that which you portray means you take on the responsibility of what happens afterwards"

-VAR

I hate to be like I’ve got all the answers because I screwed up royally. I made ill decisions and lost a lot; still paying for it today. Still sinking in a deeper hole and waiting on someone to discover the real side of sincerity. Waiting; I do way too much of. Giving benefit of the doubt; I do beyond too much of. Believing in and often proven wrong. I’ll probably see an early grave; a victim of stress related, heart flip flopping in my chest, reverberating to the sounds of voices saying I was a good person but when does that matter except when looking back. Reflection ripples in life like pebbles tossed in the pond. I’m sometimes amazed just at how much of my life I can look at. Those times when I couldn’t see the forrest for the trees but despite all that wasn’t right I still searched and waited for the beauty. Living, working and hoping that it would be alright. Things are supposed to get better at some point. Why go downhill forever? Why not try to soar above the BS and find happiness? Pull yourself out of the debris, step over the mud and laugh about that little bit that got on your clothes. It don’t matter. Somebody watches over you enough to give you strength to brush that stuff off your shoulders. Somebody’s got love for you and someone sees everything in you that makes sense… or so I'd like to believe... imagine... live... it's gonna be alright, most days.

First sign perhaps..

I was sitting with a woman who I’ve grown very fond of. We were in deep conversation at the beach on a very late Friday night. The sand was almost ice cold. The moon was shining brightly above; reflecting off the ocean. The waves crashed in the distance and the sound of airplanes taking off over the ocean were to the left of us. So much going on during this peaceful night shared between us. This moment felt different to me. Here I was sitting with a woman and feeling no hesitation in talking about anything and everything. Whatever she wanted to know, I gave to her. I reflected upon my life; the recent and distant past. I shared it all and never held back. She leaned against me and listened to the sound of my voice and the echo of my heartbeat. She held my hands to keep me warm. My heart was at peace and my voice was a reflection of that. As I was in the middle of sharing a personal story, two men; dark shadows appearing out of no where walked in our direction. This woman that I was with looked into my eyes.

She asked “should I be scared?”

“No,” I responded.

She relaxed and adjusted herself, snuggling against me. She continued to listen; fearless of any danger, she smiled. She placed her trust in me and it meant a lot. I listened to her story as well and appreciated such a warm and beautiful moment...

It Seems Like...

Seems like to me with each step we take into the future, there's less respect and appreciation not only for the past but for human life in general. No one takes into account the consequences of any type of negative action. Value has declined like all the other stuff we seek out on a daily basis, thinking life will be better because of it... Yesterday some news hit friends and co-workers really hard. A friend/co-worker was involved in the worst kind of tragedy. He took a life(killing his wife), the result of which was all over the news and now his life and the lives of those around him are changed forever. A mother will never see her daughter again and he will no doubt do some hard time with plenty of days, months and years to think about what he did in one split second. Once you pull the trigger, the bullet ain't gonna stop and turn around. He now no longer has the freedom with which he lived to the fullest, showing off his latest ride, his jewelry, his clothes, blasting his music system; he attracted the ladies with no problem; he lived the bling-bling lifestyle bigtime; a lifestyle that perhaps led him to the sort of reaction that caused him to pull the trigger... It was a sad day yesterday... Life taken for granted and it doesn't look like that trend will ever change...We should watch more carefully the direction we step forward...

Rest In Peace & Love..

" Things are not the way we see them but how we remember them..."

-R.M. Valle Inclan

April 1st is the day we lost this creative soulful genius. Folks recognized on various stations how it happened; that unfortunate footnote to a life and spirit that touched millions and continues to inspire. We should all be that blessed to put such a stamp on history... April 2nd would've been his 69th birthday. Time to celebrate how Marvin Gaye lived and what he left behind...

"Why focus on the last sentence when there's a whole story to be inspired by..."

-VAR

Burp- Day..

Gotta take a moment to perhaps recognize this day... um, yes... it is my birthday... Happy Birthday to me. I've been enjoying it since last week and looking forward to more interesting moments, journeys, revelations and good times. Looking forward to some gallery showings for the photography and a new book... and praying for simple good living...

Downtown Dreams

Downtown looks the same everywhere. The hopes imagined so beautifully at one point in life fade away and become distant memories, filed in the back of ones mind as what could've been. Folks every possession is carried with them. The search for shelter a daily struggle. How does one dream at night or maintain the innocence of how you viewed the world around and above. At night, I still dream of beautiful things to come while looking up at the stars especially on a warm night in the country or a cool night on the beach. I can't imagine feeling that same way laying on the pavement. Looking up at the stars, I would pray and probably beat myself up through reminiscing about how it became like this. It would be hard to dream and hard to believe in a better me. But if I still possessed my same hopeful innocent view I'd believe that there's gotta be a better way somehow, someway...

A few days ago I was looking out my front door at the neighbors pink house across the street. Now I'm sitting on a front porch in east Texas looking out into a field at a scarecrow. The differences between here and where I live and work every day always get to me. The weekend before last I'm sitting at a Starbucks watching loud motorcycles ride by and in between the noise I'm hearing conversations about big bootie women, the presidential election and how the Lakers can possibly go all the way to win a championship. Earlier today I was at Walmart. I overheard two men talking about tractors and how they were thinking about traveling to the next town to pick up some beer because this town didn't sell alcohol. A "dry town" as they referred to it. The differences makes me smile. I was stepping over drunks and smelling liquor everywhere not too long ago at a gathering in LA. Big difference here, though there's some craziness going out this way too.

Adjusting to the slow pace in the country always takes me a few days. One thing that I love instantly is when I hear the voices of my southern family, especially the sweet sound of an elderly woman's voice that greeted me yesterday. This voice belonged to someone who knew me as a kid but I only knew of her and couldn't really recollect how she looked. I've heard so many stories about cousin Palestine. She's the grand daughter of one of my great grandfather's brothers. Last time I was here everyone kept telling me to take advantage of her still being around.

They were like "you need to sit with Palestine and just listen to her. She'll have you sitting there thinking you watching a movie 'cause her stories be so vivid. The best part is that she's telling you about folks that is kin to you. That's when you start to smiling and can't control yourself."

I haven't heard detailed stories from her yet but I have enjoyed the compliments and feeling loved because she keeps trying to see if I've got something to eat. She promised to bake me one of her infamous pound cakes made from scratch and using some extra rich butter that she churned herself.

Palestine said to me "I still does that kind of stuff! Now don't get me wrong, I love an occasional trip to Taco Bell and even Walmart's bakery make some nice desserts but ain't nothing like homemade cooking. And the way we do it here in the country is a lost art form. You need to come down more often and get you some of this here..."

I didn't get to visit with Palestine too long but the lingering presence of her spirit is still with me now. I had to take care of some personal matters and pay my respects to family no longer here. I even said hello to a few cousins that run some illegal activity deep in the woods and by the looks of it, they making way too much money. They're egos are as big as the wheels on the cars. Times have changed from the days when I remember them being young and occasionally fighting pitbulls in the field. Life has changed in many ways but despite that, simply being in the country is a much needed escape from city life...

Special Thanks...

Special thanks to "LP" for showing me that there's still magic out there...