This is a featured shot from the Dreamstyle Photography collection... Once again looking forward to the showings and very grateful for the encouragement from Daryl of BRIMM Magazine..

BRIMM Spotlight

Thanks so much to BRIMM Magazine for the spotlight in this month's issue... BRIMM is an incredible magazine based out of Atlanta. I'm also looking forward to the showings of my photography work sponsored by this magazine. What a beautiful feeling to be recognized in a positive way... Life is precious. Gotta keep it moving in a positive direction...

Protest...

This was a cool experience to be a part of...

Productive weekend..

Big shoutout to a good friend of mine named Jaime Saucedo. Gotta thank him for giving me good ideas on how to enjoy the weekend. The ideas I hesitated on at first. My spirit was a little low and a little too comfortable. I needed to get out of that comfort zone known as laziness and get my butt up. Do something different.. A different route and of course, bring my camera too.. Jaime suggested that on Saturday I checkout the anti-war protest going on downtown and then maybe on Sunday hangout and vibe off of the atmosphere of good people, african rhythms, and a positive vibe... I did just that and found myself enjoying the kind of weekend that I haven't had in a very long time... It felt like the old me coming to the foreground and was great opportunity to capture images of life that I could use for my portfolio as well as this spotlight going on right now via BRIMM magazine that's got me featured as a "Best Kept Secret." I'm honored by the spotlight, especially because they noticed me via my photography.

Saturday was cool at the anti-war protest. A lot of people came up with the most creative rhythmic chants to protest Iraq, Iran, Jena six, New Orleans, etc. It wasn't just the same we shall overcome sort of thing but even when they did something like that, they twisted the beat a little bit.. *smile* The signs were real cool too... I'll be putting up a little montage of the images in the next post from the protest.

Sunday, I enjoyed myself a lot. Great conversation with Jaime and incredible opportunities for some picture taking. The lady above represents one of the many that were in attendance as the sound of drums carried on until night fall. A woman known possibly as Oma Oya spoke with me and gave me blessings... And then I missed out on a lovely dancer that I wanted to approach but I'll find her again... and again, I hope.. She was incredible... and so was this weekend.. A return to me as I prepare for a special journey coming real soon. I miss being on the road but I'll be there soon...

October life and death..

Seems like every year October brings with it a passing... I've lost several members of my family during this month over the years and almost left this earth myself a couple years ago. My friend Angela was a witness to that moment in time. This year October has been quiet on an immediate family level but a good friend of mine lost his mother last week. I attended a fiesta that was already planned in her(Emiliana) honor as well as her viewing and eventual burial held this past weekend. The funeral was on monday. It was from beginning to end a beautiful celebration of life. All the children, grand children, etc that she leaves behind. My friend is truly blessed with a big beautiful and close family; something that I wish I had or at least a close one no matter the size. The years have added distance to my family.

The events held in honor of Emiliana were interesting to me. I felt honored because many of them see me as a member of the family. I've known my friend Ed for many years and he's always invited me to family events so I've been able to see some of the kids grow up into young adults now. At the viewing I observed how a lot of these family members reminded me of my own family from years past. The faces looked familiar except these people come from a different cultural background but the personalities are the same. Uncles looked familiar, cousins, aunts, etc etc... The laughter, the jokes, the sadness, the celebration, the worries, the hope... It was all the same. Unfortunately the events were overshadowed by a younger member of the family, Ed's nephew(RJ) who was paralyzed from the neck down in a freak accident on the night after his mother passed away. My prayers go out to RJ. Life is never without its moments that remind you not to take each second for granted. So much negativity is allowed in our lives; people with motives, game playing, etc. What happened to the days of truly appreciating one another for who we are? I felt appreciated at Emilana's viewing just for simply being me and they all appreciated me for joining them in their time of loss... Appreciation and thoughtfulness.... it's lost in this world that overflows with shoulder shrugs and dont care attitudes... It goes without saying that Emiliana is truly in a better place but what a blessing it is to know that she leaves behind so much love and family closeness...

In the middle of downtown this lady hangs her clothes out to dry. The streets is her home and she made due with whatever she could find, borrowing money from passersby. I seen her soak the clothes in a bucket. The money she collected I imagine she'll use for more important things than water, which she found for free by turning on the faucet coming out of a wall a few steps away. I gave her a couple dollars. She bowed and said thank you. I took a picture of her from the front. She had an interesting face; her eyes had a softness to them despite all that she's probably seen in her lifetime. Her skin was definitely affected by the elements but her spirit seemed strong. She continued to smile and collect any change that anyone might give to her as she waited for her clothes to dry. I didn't mean no harm but I wondered how often she wore the black lace that she had hanging on the steel rod fence. Much respect to this lady and her survival...

Home...

From the pages of a forthcoming novel

She lives on an ugly street pulling out weeds just for friends she meets. She waits for time to remind her of all her mistakes. She figures that's enough inspiration to see what more she can take. She leans on false hope in dark corners. Deals with men less likely to love or honor her. I loved her, though. Sacrificing everything I had to give her more than I'd ever dream. An investment in love is like guessing with your eyes closed. You mean well but without the legs of time to stand on, you never know if your decision is as sound and true as the wanting invading the walls of your soul from head to toe. I made mistakes and therefore I struggle. I suffer because I'm hard on myself. Too much time on my hands forces me to look into the mrror of hindsight. I underline thoughts translated as, you should've known better. Now I walk around as a man others fear to touch but that's nothing compared to my fear to love. It just seems like too much sacrifice at this point and I'm just a little too tired right now...

Franklin Gregory
Copr.2007

Photographic movie..

Amazing

Over time or as time goes by you discover an occasional person that you've touched in some kind of way. I'm truly blown away and amazed by these moments because I never expect that what I write or how I may express myself toward someone would linger in their mind and heart longer than the brief encounter which again, I take as a great blessing. Today I received a really nice reminder of what just being good to people can do. Being good doesn't cost a thing but the rewards always come when you least expect it and need it the most.

Let me back track for a second....This morning I woke up very early at 4:45am feeling restless. I couldn't sleep. I mean, my original plan was to sleep at least until 11am since this is Saturday and I've just finished a long hard work week combined with some very stressful moments in my personal life. Anyway, I got up and decided to venture out to the beach. I was curious to see what it looked like at such an early hour. I live quite a ways from the beach so when I got there(Marina Del Rey) it was about 5:30am. The only folks on the beach at that hour were a few runners, some dogs chasing tennis balls into the water, and a few homeless people covering up in an effort to block that early morning sunlight. There I was, walking through the sand with camera in hand snapping a few shots and just taking in the ocean breeze. It felt good but to a certain degree I felt lonely though not so much in that I wish I had someone by my side; I just felt lonely. Life has been rough recently; still is and it's made me feel something that I've never felt before. I mean, I'm not so sure I even walk with that natural quiet cockiness any more that folks say I have or that "kolohe spark" that a special Hawaii friend(Jody) would say I had. I dont feel it... That something that I've never felt before in the past is pure vulnerability... It makes me feel less like I want to get out and about. My camera is probably responsible for the little bit that I do get out because it inspires me to go out and capture life so that I may escape for a moment while composing the shot.

Well, I continued to walk the beach. I saw a couple surfers out doing there thing including the one fella in the picture above looking so content. I could relate to his feeling of solitude though contentment wasn't something we had in common. I walked from Marina Del Rey to Santa Monica beach which is quite a good walk, especially in the sand all the way. Anyone familiar with the area would say "damn, you walked a long ways!" And being that I had to turn around and walk back made the journey one long thought process as I found myself for a moment forgetting about my camera and escaping into a story that I pictured myself in. I dont want to give a whole lot of details because I can see this story becoming a novel but essentially it deals with the major subjects in life; love, relationships, and everyone's personal journey as a result of our choices relating to those subjects. The story is narrated by a woman but is about a man. I could hear this woman's voice so clearly and relate to each step that the man had taken before crossing paths with the lady. As I walked along the shore of Santa Monica, Venice, and Marina Del Rey beaches, I had composed in my head pretty much the entire outline of the story. When I got home I wrote the first chapter and then I took the suggestion of a friend and rested my mind because despite having an interesting morning, my early rise sort of threw off my day.

And now I get to the point of this blog entry as I really back tracked bigtime there. After my nap I checked my email and found a really cool email from someone I had touched via one of my stories many months ago. A woman that I remember because of her cool name; Suraya Leona. To me, the real true gift/reward of being an author is in how you touch people with your written words. This wonderful lady took the time to email me while on vacation in Egypt. I mean, its not like we've kept in touch at all but for whatever reason she thought of me and reached out. I'm amazed by that kind of thing. Blown away.. I feel blessed and am very thankful. She said in her email that I had helped her a lot when we last wrote to each other. I'm not sure what I did but I do remember her kindness and for that and especially for her reaching back to say hello; I say thank you Suraya.

On another very special note I have to once again say thank you as I did with my picture in the sand to Angela. Her voice and spirit also came at a time when I needed it and still need it the most... Amazing...

When, I keep asking..

Humility, vulnerability, life, lessons, struggle, different light, hurt, pain, worry, anxiety, stuck, alone, money, hate, can't, love, swimming thru rough waters, holding tears inside my soul, watching others celebrate life as I hide from the sun planning my future with nothing. A world of dreams and accomplishments coming to an end. Floating on memories until the oxygen thins. This time in my life has rocked the core of my soul that is the foundation of me and changed my outlook as well as the way I look inward. Gone is the excitement and desire to find you/love...


You ever felt like you were dying inside; living on hopes, dreams, wishes, wants and all those positive things that you believe in your heart should be your destiny? How could these tough times invade your path? How could life throw you the kind of curve ball that feels like it's suspended in air forever. You keep swinging at it to make it go away. You pray, you try to stay strong as others suggest; keep your chin up, etc but its still here; still there. What's worse is when you can sit back, imagine and recognize that you had it ALL before; your life was truly good but then you saw a glimmer of that perceived extra-special-something that you always wanted but was out of reach so you look the other way; the opposite direction of good common sense and you go for it. Your decision only makes sense during that moment when you might as well had worn a blindfold because now that your vision is clear you live your life in fear of what will come behind a mistake that has you labeling this as the worst ever year; a year that seems to have no end...

Just thinking....

As life goes through its motions, you find yourself enduring some sort of heartache. And, if you’re a creative person you find your ways of expression becoming a little deeper because of what you've been though. If you write; you have more things to say. If you play music; you find a little more of an emotional connection to your instrument. If you paint you’ll find a little more realism reflected in your art. I’ve been through a few things in life though I never claim to be alone in my experiences. One can always find another who is worse off or who has suffered and endured greater challenges but to each comes its own trials and tribulations. Lately, I’ve found myself lost in thought, writing down ideas and words that will make for great stories. Hopefully what I express will help others and perhaps entertain. Maybe what I say will even give second thoughts to those that might be on the verge of following a similar path; right or wrong.

One thing that I do claim myself to be and am very proud of is that I am indeed a very creative being. I use many ways to creatively express myself. Perhaps it has to do with being the introspective person that I am; quite often put down because I don’t talk as much as some say I should talk. I figure all the differences that every single individual brings to the table of life is what makes this world go round and round. In other words, despite any ups, downs, and in betweens, I am me and for the most part I’m proud of that fact. I only say for the most part because I’m not proud of all decisions that I’ve made in life but then again, that brings me back to the point I’m trying to make. Life adds depth to the ways in which we express ourselves, especially with respect to those whose means of expression have to do with creativity.

Lately, I’ve noticed an improvement or perhaps more depth in two other things that I do creatively. One is my guitar playing. I love the guitar and have always messed around with it. I’ve been a big fan of the instrument as well as those famous and not so famous who play it. I used to play in a group with my uncle and we’d play at weddings and backyard parties with just me, him and a drum machine back when the technology wasn’t so great and the sound was so cheesy. Back then I hadn’t really lived and experienced all that I can now look back on so from a creative stand point I’ve come to realize that I had very little emotional history, if you will to put inside my playing. Now I find myself up late at night sometimes restless, thinking about tomorrow; I reach for my acoustic guitar and start to strum. I play with feeling. I strum chords that sound really good. The guitar feels like a natural extension of my body as if it belonged in my hands. I grip chords with ease and don’t always have to look at the instrument. Playing relaxes me; thus I’ve found more depth in this creative form of expression, which I imagine is due to my life and the living that I’ve done.

Photography has turned into a passion of mine unlike I’ve ever imagined it would. Perhaps it was handed down by my father who was a real serious photographer and had about twenty cameras and a professional dark room/studio in his house. Anyway, my need to capture moments in time has become a sort of daily craving. Many times when I don’t have my camera in hand, I find myself capturing moments visually with my mind or looking at things differently because I’m trying to figure out how I‘d photograph the subject. I look at people, scenery, objects, etc with so much more in mind than a simple glance. I believe that my photography is now showing a lot more depth not only due to me becoming that much more familiar with my camera but mostly because of that certain vision inside of me which sees things in my own way based upon my life’s experience. I really believe that if you have two photographers taking pictures of the same thing, you’ll likely see two very different visions. I experienced this recently by comparing a shot of a wall that I had taken in downtown Atlanta. It was the very same half brick and concrete, graffiti covered wall that a friend of mine had photographed before. She chose to highlight the entire wall and bring out the soft yellow tones of the concrete area whereas, I chose to focus in on the red brick area, which included a window with broken glass. I brought out the red, white and black tones of that section of the wall. I look at my photographs and wonder what goes through my mind before hand and why I chose that particular subject. I’m not sure most times. It's basically a gut feeling... I just feel some sort of emotional thing while at the same time I’m surprised by the end result because I’ll see a little bit more than what I’d seen when I initially took the shot. I love photography and most of all, I love being creative. And with life comes a deeper means of expression especially if you pay attention to every detail of it; good and bad, right or wrong.... but anyway...

Scenes from the forthcoming Timothy Beekerwood

"Damn, Timothy had the kind of gift that we all wish he would've passed down to somebody in the family. Maybe seeing what he saw could've helped one of us pick the right lottery numbers. I guess what he saw was a little bit too much for a normal person to handle. Even in church, the elders used talk about it all the time but now that they gone it seems like ol' Timothy finding other ways to let us know he been here before."

"What happened to the elders?"

"Pastor run them away with his triflin ways. You know how it is. Tradition is gone and folks got they own set of rules. Way too much drama to tell you about it right now but if you stick around long enough, you'll hear all about it. Plus being that you staying in Timothy grand mama's house, you libel to hear more than you ever bargained for. I'll be around to check on you. Enjoy your vacation. What you say your name was, again?"

"Andre' Christopher..."

Timothy Beekerwood, copr.2007
Coming soon....

Land Of Wonder

I was like Anthony in Wonderland this past week, spending wonderful time with myself in an area that felt like a blessing. It was miles away from my day to day life and worlds away from the past few months... I hungout in areas that I'd been introduced to last year and found the same warmth and good feeling from total strangers but the best part was just me being creative, snapping real cool shots like this beautiful entrance and enjoying all the R&R I possibly could... This was one of those moments where I wish I could control the hands of time...

Usually whenever I would wish time to stand still, I'd be in some beautiful company.. Like the time when she asked me to "fly," which then led to our very first kiss. Or the time in Seattle that was reminiscent of the movie, "Before Sunrise" where we stayed up all night and didn't want to chance closing our eyes for fear that we might miss something. Or the special birthday celebration on Tennison Road, the magical nights spent on a plantation in St. Francisville, Louisiana, the beautiful night in Vicksburg once again on a plantation and the special nights in New Orleans. In those instances, time standing still would've been heaven and this past weekend, time standing still would've been bliss... I guess I have to settle for the inspiration. It was a real good time...all by myself..

Soon to be featured in a downtown LA art gallery. A special piece photographed in the Five Points area of Atlanta, Georgia.

Dreamstyle Photography Inc.
copr. 2007

Home Is Everywhere...

The first words I heard were "Anthony's home!" and then I was greeted with a warm hug, smiles and concern.
"You lost some weight!" she said.
"Yeah, but it dont look bad on him.." another said.
"Chile, you been on my mind and I've been meaning to call you but then one situation after another come up and then some things that I wanted to do just slip my mind."
"Yeah, I know about situations..."
"I'll bet you do. Sit down-"
"Thanks.."
Cousin Maggie and I sat on the couch and after we chatted for a moment about my life, she then gave me a long sermon about life's ups and downs and in between's. She was both hard on me and forgiving but the main thing was that she embraced me and showed me what's in store if I just hold tight to my dreams, work hard and always remember to take care of myself. Then she updated me on all the latest family news.
"Cousin Charlene had a rough time before she passed-"
"Oh?"
"Yeah, she slipped and fell inside her house then they took her to the hospital where she just refused all help. She argued with everybody and meanwhile back at her apartment they evicted her. We always wondered why Charlene stayed locked up inside her place so much. She probably had three bolted locks on her door. She didn't last long once they put her in a nursing home but they had to since she had no place to go. She was blessed with people that cared about her because everybody raised enough money once she was gone so that she'd have a beautiful funeral and a very nice casket."
"She's the last to go of my grandfather's brother's and sister's, huh?"
"Yeah, she was the last... I remember how the others left this earth one after the other so fast. I remember Rosetta and how she locked her eyes in a corner and then started making that death rattle. I sat in the other room just listening and I just knew she would be leaving us soon. Your grandfather was a proud man so he refused all visitors in the end except for you. I remember they snuck you in. You was just a little boy then."
"Yeah, I didn't stay long. He was curled up like he was cold but he kept saying my name. I never forgot that sound."
"It's good to see you..."
I took a long deep breath... "It's good to be here..."
"You staying long?"
"Nah, leaving tomorrow..."

The fires...

"Don't fan the flames of negativity..."

I've decided to get back to the positivity... I've got a whole series of posts that I would love to share about what I just been through.. The love, the beauty, the nightmare, the ugliness that now invades my day to day... She reaching out in threatening ways which is very sad. Accusing me of this and that when it's so unnecessary... Perhaps it's best to leave it alone and continue my successful direction so I will but I'm sure she'll say something in some kind of way soon and thus she will feel better?

Anyway, stay tuned to some beautiful pictures and other surprises around the corner... I've got so much to give and none of it has to do with attempting to ruin someone's life.. God bless her.... Peace...

The Devil In Someone's Heart

Love has come to this... she spends her nights calling my phone(s) constantly and now she's decided to send me text messages over and over; a silly attempt to harass me. An indication of a soul with too much time on their hands motivated by an ungliness inside their heart. The message she sends me; "LOST SOUL." Is she talking about me? I'm totally found and living a good positive life thanks to my decision to turn away from her. She puts out constant negativity. She speaks with curse words and mean-ness that she's picked up over the years because of how she's been treated. My love for her was complete unselfishness, taking on responsibilities that I shouldn't have and I guarantee you, no man in their right mind ever would or ever will. I sacrificed beyond the call of duty, buying her groceries, new clothes, getting her hair done, coming to the rescue all the time when she needed this or that for herself and in the meantime draining my funds, leaving my refrigerator empty, not buying anything new for me and only making sure to pay my bills. I carried a heavy load, doing it for love? Is that what love is supposed to be like? A never ending cycle of being on call, day and night to give and give until you can't give no more? I will forever love her daughters. I will miss them and pray that they live a beautiful life but I too must live my own beautiful life.. The life that was mine before though granted, she and I weren't all bad... I conveyed beautiful messages right here on my blog and back then it was amazing but that's before reality mixed with selfishness stepped in... Her constant need, needs, needing takes precedent over anything, anyone, any and all... Her needs include an addiction that she's not honest with that controls her mind, her emotions, her way of life... So, the devil in someone's heart continues and she tries to reach me with her ugliness but I won't respond.. I dont pick up, I dont answer... I simply move on and live my life and at the same time wish her well, pray for her and hope that she wakes up with the realization that she can do so much better for herself. And she warned me in the beginning but I didn't listen. She even suggested many times that I seek another who could be better for me; give me the 100% love that I deserved. Well, that's the direction I'm taking though first I would like to give myself that 100% love and attention. I was told that I was the best man to come into her life. The "best thing to happen to her." She even told me this and said many other things that let me know I'd touched her heart and soul but at this point I just want the best life for me as well as her but in doing so she and I could never be and for that I am grateful. There was a time when my heart would go nuts at the thought of losing her but now I am overjoyed to carry the strength which has allowed me to turn away, move on, look forward and to keep my belief in love still intact. I'm not looking for love anytiime soon but if it's there I wont run... However I will be careful and I wont make the mistake of being consumed thereby leaving friends, family, and dreams behind as I did with this needy soul that I became so involved with... A needy soul with enough baggage to fill LAX. I've got about 12 text messages waiting to be deleted... And she's found her way to my blog, leaving messages as LaughingProphecy or perhaps she's having someone write the words for her because her skills aren't really that good. She's telling me I'm spineless because I will delete her message so I'm gonna be that and do that... spineless(lost soul that I am) but again, I wish her the very best that life and love have to offer...Life is beautiful now and all my friends see the return of me when they look in my eyes...

Life....