Cool image weekend...

Images from the weekend photoshoot and other places...

Very cool moment

This was a beautiful moment when I was blessed to catch up to this lady and give her a canvas copy of the image that I captured of her a couple months back. I had always wanted to give it to her and yesterday I was able to do so. Bringing happiness to even total strangers is a beautiful thang. I pray I'm always able to continue the trend of bringing happiness, especially with this gift of photography...

So, I walked in the direction of love and discovered it had been in place, waiting for me. This place I had walked by many times, curious about the vibe, the sound, the rhythm, the energy. I peeked inside for a moment. I saw my reflection and it startled me but not enough to keep me from continuing to look, to gaze, ponder and consider. There was so much to see and absorb. This would be a learning experience twisted upside down because nothing appears as it seems. Throw assumption out the window and live for the moment. Take in everything and see where it falls because this may have the potential to lift you up and be that necessary glue to hold your future together. I walk a path now that looks similar to what I've always dreamed about. I wish I could do more to demonstrate my gratitude. It's almost unreal; the past, surreal. I remember it to keep my feet grounded and pray about the potential of what I envision the future to be. I toggle back and forth, images in my memory bank, sound bites recorded on my internal heart-drive. I remember the misquote taken from a favorite movie of mine; a sign of a bad fit in my life. I play that against the vision of my grandfather's rocking chair; a face smiles at me. Seems like she belongs right there. Always wanting to keep me full; anxious to enjoy what I've seen. It feels so comfortable when real true happiness is free.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone... I'm blessed with a fabulous mother that has gone beyond the call of duty to be there for me and make sure I do okay and that I am, okay... I can without a shadow of any doubt or twisting of the truth say to you, I wouldn't be right here, right now if it hadn't been for her and I'm not just talking about birth... And special mother's day wishes to those departed love ones, from my grandmother's on backwards in time.. Alzata Moorings, Senora Rivers, Julia Patterson, Lucy Rivers, Moriah Rivers...

"Get it together and pass it on..."

--Ruby Dee

Portraits In Protest

Thoughts 2 Embrace

I wanna share an article that I found through an exceptional photographer friend of mine(Laretta Houston). This is definitely something to live by, strive for, think about, etc etc... Check it out...

Knowing Authentic Love

I always say that "Love is the final destination of our healing journey." I believe this because if the one thing that has hurt you most, is something that, with proper healing, you can learn to believe in again, that my friend, is healing!

So what is this thing called love, and what are the rules that make it work, or not work?

To begin, for the record, when it comes to authentic love, feelings such as fear, insecurity, rejection, abuse, anger, abandonment or harm are not love. These feelings and emotions describe abuse. To love someone and to fear them does not equal love. It equals pain and dysfunction.

With that said, the best description of love, I believe is found in the book of Corinthians. It describes authentic love as " patient; kind; not envious or boastful; not arrogant or rude. Authentic love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

So, how does this translate to real life? Authentic love looks and sounds like this:

Love is patient. In other words, it does not have a short fuse about the little things. Authentic love is accepting of you, faults and all.

Love is kind: In other words, the words used toward you are gentle. There is no name calling, or insults. Certainly, there is no sarcasm (which by the ways, means a cutting of the flesh). The actions of love are even kinder. There is never any physical harm, or physical or emotional abandonment.

Love is not envious: In other words, it is not jealous of your time, space, promotions or growth. Authentic love never leaves you 'wanting' or leaves you feeling overly needy. Instead authentic love finds happiness with what they have.

Love is not boastful: Authentic love does not talk about your private life, publicly without consent (i.e., sex). Love does not "trophy-girl" nor does authentic love think the most interesting conversation is themselves. Instead, authentic love understands that behind each human is a person with feelings, emotions and privacy.

Love is not arrogant: In other words, it does not have a "me first" attitude, which means love does not put their life or their needs, holidays, financial security or position first and discount yours. Love does not compare "their" way against your way. Nor does it say things like, "I made all the money, you just raised the kids." Authentic love rather, thinks of the other partner and puts them first. Authentic love has an attitude of "you first and me second." When two people operate with this spirit, everyone always comes out on top.

Love does not insist on its own way: In other words, authentic love gives you a voice and a vote. The regulations of the relationship are determined by a committee of two, not a dictatorship of one.

Love is not irritable or resentful: In other words, authentic love does not bring up the past. When an issue has been discussed, it is resolved and forgotten.

Love does not rejoice in a wrongdoing: In other words, it does not lecture or punish with pride. Authentic love instead allows for mistakes and "being human."

Love rejoices in truth: In other words, love does not question your reality, or lie about their reality. Love speaks the truth in finances. Love speaks the truth about their life. Love speaks the truth about you, rather than create false fears, harsh judgments or false insecurities. Love can also hear the truth. It can hear about its faults and areas of improvement.

Love bears all things: In other words, it does not expect perfection. Authentic love is accepting that not all things come in the package they demand. Therefore, authentic love is not judgmental or overly strict.

Love believes all things: In other words, love does not interrogate or drill you. Authentic love takes you at your truth-telling word and believes in your character.

Love endures all things: In other words, authentic love will not abandon easily, especially when things do not go their way. Love instead looks for a new life-giving way of creating path that is fair, safe and empowering for all parties.

By Dr. Tracy Kemble

W.I.N. Foundation

I’m writing a beautiful story right now that may never see the light of day, so to speak. That’s okay. It’s fun to write because I enjoy it rather than for the purpose of being published. The journey is much more satisfying because of the reflection of both reality and imagination. The escape, so much more revealing. The story doesn’t fit the typical category that you see displayed across every bookshelf but to me has a little bit of everything including what I enjoy the most and that’s a character who discovers the past through strangers. Quite often I meet family through stories told to me by close or not so close, aunts, uncles and cousins. That’s one of the things I miss most about traveling, especially to Texas. The stories fall from the lips of those southern voices with excitement. It's like riding a roller coaster that starts off slowly and then twists and turns until reaching some kind of euphoria before coasting back toward the sense of calm that started off the ride. That's what a conversation feels like when I sit down with someone who knew about so and so from back in the day. And then they might tell me how much I favor that person like a family trademark, a way about my smile, the shape of my forehead or the way I carry myself. It's nice when I hear the family name mentioned with pride and interesting when there's a cloud of mystery about some dark figure from long ago, making me wonder if I was truly related to that person or not. "Yeah, they was kin to you!" I might hear. I'm writing a story that reflects a lot of that... The mystery, the romance, the good and bad that comes along with the discovery of kinship because sometimes you ain't always proud of what you find out and other times you're blown away by the beautiful discovery so much so that you wonder in which way do you contribute to the lineage. What will be said about you in time; after your time...

"To be that which you portray means you take on the responsibility of what happens afterwards"

-VAR

I hate to be like I’ve got all the answers because I screwed up royally. I made ill decisions and lost a lot; still paying for it today. Still sinking in a deeper hole and waiting on someone to discover the real side of sincerity. Waiting; I do way too much of. Giving benefit of the doubt; I do beyond too much of. Believing in and often proven wrong. I’ll probably see an early grave; a victim of stress related, heart flip flopping in my chest, reverberating to the sounds of voices saying I was a good person but when does that matter except when looking back. Reflection ripples in life like pebbles tossed in the pond. I’m sometimes amazed just at how much of my life I can look at. Those times when I couldn’t see the forrest for the trees but despite all that wasn’t right I still searched and waited for the beauty. Living, working and hoping that it would be alright. Things are supposed to get better at some point. Why go downhill forever? Why not try to soar above the BS and find happiness? Pull yourself out of the debris, step over the mud and laugh about that little bit that got on your clothes. It don’t matter. Somebody watches over you enough to give you strength to brush that stuff off your shoulders. Somebody’s got love for you and someone sees everything in you that makes sense… or so I'd like to believe... imagine... live... it's gonna be alright, most days.

First sign perhaps..

I was sitting with a woman who I’ve grown very fond of. We were in deep conversation at the beach on a very late Friday night. The sand was almost ice cold. The moon was shining brightly above; reflecting off the ocean. The waves crashed in the distance and the sound of airplanes taking off over the ocean were to the left of us. So much going on during this peaceful night shared between us. This moment felt different to me. Here I was sitting with a woman and feeling no hesitation in talking about anything and everything. Whatever she wanted to know, I gave to her. I reflected upon my life; the recent and distant past. I shared it all and never held back. She leaned against me and listened to the sound of my voice and the echo of my heartbeat. She held my hands to keep me warm. My heart was at peace and my voice was a reflection of that. As I was in the middle of sharing a personal story, two men; dark shadows appearing out of no where walked in our direction. This woman that I was with looked into my eyes.

She asked “should I be scared?”

“No,” I responded.

She relaxed and adjusted herself, snuggling against me. She continued to listen; fearless of any danger, she smiled. She placed her trust in me and it meant a lot. I listened to her story as well and appreciated such a warm and beautiful moment...

It Seems Like...

Seems like to me with each step we take into the future, there's less respect and appreciation not only for the past but for human life in general. No one takes into account the consequences of any type of negative action. Value has declined like all the other stuff we seek out on a daily basis, thinking life will be better because of it... Yesterday some news hit friends and co-workers really hard. A friend/co-worker was involved in the worst kind of tragedy. He took a life(killing his wife), the result of which was all over the news and now his life and the lives of those around him are changed forever. A mother will never see her daughter again and he will no doubt do some hard time with plenty of days, months and years to think about what he did in one split second. Once you pull the trigger, the bullet ain't gonna stop and turn around. He now no longer has the freedom with which he lived to the fullest, showing off his latest ride, his jewelry, his clothes, blasting his music system; he attracted the ladies with no problem; he lived the bling-bling lifestyle bigtime; a lifestyle that perhaps led him to the sort of reaction that caused him to pull the trigger... It was a sad day yesterday... Life taken for granted and it doesn't look like that trend will ever change...We should watch more carefully the direction we step forward...

Rest In Peace & Love..

" Things are not the way we see them but how we remember them..."

-R.M. Valle Inclan

April 1st is the day we lost this creative soulful genius. Folks recognized on various stations how it happened; that unfortunate footnote to a life and spirit that touched millions and continues to inspire. We should all be that blessed to put such a stamp on history... April 2nd would've been his 69th birthday. Time to celebrate how Marvin Gaye lived and what he left behind...

"Why focus on the last sentence when there's a whole story to be inspired by..."

-VAR

Burp- Day..

Gotta take a moment to perhaps recognize this day... um, yes... it is my birthday... Happy Birthday to me. I've been enjoying it since last week and looking forward to more interesting moments, journeys, revelations and good times. Looking forward to some gallery showings for the photography and a new book... and praying for simple good living...

Downtown Dreams

Downtown looks the same everywhere. The hopes imagined so beautifully at one point in life fade away and become distant memories, filed in the back of ones mind as what could've been. Folks every possession is carried with them. The search for shelter a daily struggle. How does one dream at night or maintain the innocence of how you viewed the world around and above. At night, I still dream of beautiful things to come while looking up at the stars especially on a warm night in the country or a cool night on the beach. I can't imagine feeling that same way laying on the pavement. Looking up at the stars, I would pray and probably beat myself up through reminiscing about how it became like this. It would be hard to dream and hard to believe in a better me. But if I still possessed my same hopeful innocent view I'd believe that there's gotta be a better way somehow, someway...

A few days ago I was looking out my front door at the neighbors pink house across the street. Now I'm sitting on a front porch in east Texas looking out into a field at a scarecrow. The differences between here and where I live and work every day always get to me. The weekend before last I'm sitting at a Starbucks watching loud motorcycles ride by and in between the noise I'm hearing conversations about big bootie women, the presidential election and how the Lakers can possibly go all the way to win a championship. Earlier today I was at Walmart. I overheard two men talking about tractors and how they were thinking about traveling to the next town to pick up some beer because this town didn't sell alcohol. A "dry town" as they referred to it. The differences makes me smile. I was stepping over drunks and smelling liquor everywhere not too long ago at a gathering in LA. Big difference here, though there's some craziness going out this way too.

Adjusting to the slow pace in the country always takes me a few days. One thing that I love instantly is when I hear the voices of my southern family, especially the sweet sound of an elderly woman's voice that greeted me yesterday. This voice belonged to someone who knew me as a kid but I only knew of her and couldn't really recollect how she looked. I've heard so many stories about cousin Palestine. She's the grand daughter of one of my great grandfather's brothers. Last time I was here everyone kept telling me to take advantage of her still being around.

They were like "you need to sit with Palestine and just listen to her. She'll have you sitting there thinking you watching a movie 'cause her stories be so vivid. The best part is that she's telling you about folks that is kin to you. That's when you start to smiling and can't control yourself."

I haven't heard detailed stories from her yet but I have enjoyed the compliments and feeling loved because she keeps trying to see if I've got something to eat. She promised to bake me one of her infamous pound cakes made from scratch and using some extra rich butter that she churned herself.

Palestine said to me "I still does that kind of stuff! Now don't get me wrong, I love an occasional trip to Taco Bell and even Walmart's bakery make some nice desserts but ain't nothing like homemade cooking. And the way we do it here in the country is a lost art form. You need to come down more often and get you some of this here..."

I didn't get to visit with Palestine too long but the lingering presence of her spirit is still with me now. I had to take care of some personal matters and pay my respects to family no longer here. I even said hello to a few cousins that run some illegal activity deep in the woods and by the looks of it, they making way too much money. They're egos are as big as the wheels on the cars. Times have changed from the days when I remember them being young and occasionally fighting pitbulls in the field. Life has changed in many ways but despite that, simply being in the country is a much needed escape from city life...

Special Thanks...

Special thanks to "LP" for showing me that there's still magic out there...

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend had it's moments. I have to send out special prayers to my aunt Tamer who is in the hospital battling acute pancreatis and dealing with a lot of pain in the process. I pray she has a very speedy recovery. It's rough seeing time bring with it illnesses and tough times for family members. Time marches on and that ain't always a good thing when things like this happen. Nevertheless, time does move... It was kind of hot out here in southern Cali over the weekend. I enjoyed it with capturing some cool moments photographically and checking out that Meet The Browns movie. It was alright. Kind of predictable for me but it was funny too. I especially enjoyed seeing the beautiful Angela Bassett; one of my favorite actresses of all time. The movie also had me yearning for a healthy dose of country life. I love the country and my southern spirit is aching for me to return. The movie brought back memories of family. It reminded me of good times back a few years ago when things were real good in east Texas. Like when my grandmother was still alive and when on one day I'd go from enjoying time with her to taking a drive down the road about fifteen minutes away to visit with cousin's George, Maggie, Big Mama, Peaches, Apple(they're sisters), Ruby, her boys and everybody else around there. They fed me good and told me stories about family past and present. We'd sit under the "crying tree," which was a tree that always has water dripping from it's leaves. They laughed at me when I kept checking my head and shoulders for bird droppings. I was like "what the?" Anyway, seeing those country folks in Tyler Perry's latest definitely brought back those kind of special memories. Good times that no longer exist in east Texas because people have grown in other directions and doing things they shouldn't do. Meet The Browns also brought back memories of that aching feeling inside your stomach when you're blown away by the potential of somebody. Blown away by what you imagine life with them could be. Mesmerized by the thought of just being near them. Sometimes I wonder if women feel that way too or is it just the certain fellas who dream a little bit too much and got way too much gullible qualities within them. Rick Fox played that sort of mesmerizing part very well and it was a good happy ending to the story as well as a strong message about fatherhood... I'd like to see a little more of Madea hopefully in the next Tyler Perry movie. All in all, it was a decent weekend...

I wasn't born like this, yet I became like this. They say everyone has a chance; an equal opportunity for success. What are my chances now? Every second feels like a step closer to no longer existing. I fear the pain, the suffering; yet I imagine the peace. Would I be missed? Would they say, whatever happened to and think of me with fondness? Everything I own, I carry with me. All of who I am has been taken from me. The streets haven't been kind; the ugliness easier to deal with when something else controls my mind. Sometimes another day for me feels like torture. I exist; I'm here but am I really surviving? Somehow this has become my world; small like me in the eyes of others. A nobody in the eyes of most...

Playing With The Barriers

I had a conversation with two ladies. One of them I complimented. Both of them laughed. They brushed aside my compliment as yet another man's attempt at trying to get something. They both had that familiar smirk like tightening of the lips, followed by an audible sound that could only be translated as "don't even go there..." I continued to "go there" because I was sincere. I didn't want anything but conversation. My compliment was simple, yet I meant it with sincerity. After that, I decided to challenge the flow, so to speak. I mean, they didn't seem like they wouldn't be receptive to me asking questions or making comments.

"Seems to me like a woman whose been hurt doesn't always receive compliments too well or perhaps doesn't trust one coming from a man" I said.

They both looked at each other. Then they looked at me. They told me they agreed with that statement but believed that men were the same way.

"Nah, we'll still believe anything you tell us regardless of if we been hurt. Shoot, compliments feel good and when a man is down, he needs a pick me up. Words can deliver that feeling..."

One of the ladies laughed at me and said "typical man..." The other told me that I was just trying to impress. I ducked under her sarcasm and countered with another compliment. I loved how she was rockin the bangles on her wrist and the large earrings. Her accessories had a little afrocentric/70's vibe going on. I've been taking notes on that sort of look recently because I'm doing a photoshoot with this model who plans to wear a lot of that for each shot.

The lady who I hadn't complimented asked me a question. She said "so, if I told you you were a good looking man, umph! Would you believe me?"

"Nope."

They both chimed in "why not?"

"Because at this point I'd be thinking you're just playing with me. If you approached me out of the blue and said it, I might believe you. I would then think that the motivation to say it was purely your idea and not just you saying it because of what we been talking about. When I complimented your friend, I think you knew I was being real because of the way I said it. It was like a surprise to me. The light hit her just right and in that moment, I was like damn... the compliment was necessary; completely motivated by some serious energy going on..."

"He's too much for me..." The complimented one blushed and then said "shut-up Anthony."

I wanted to speak to her on a personal level. I chose to read words on a page, camouflaged as something I'd written long ago. I couldn't make eye contact with her but my voice was solid; every word connected despite all that surrounded us; the foot traffic, and the voices in the distance. She leaned in closer. She wanted to see the words too, as I read them. Funny thing though, not every word was on the page. She searched for them herself. She smiled. I knew because by then, her face was close enough for me to feel the rise in her left cheek. "Liar," she whispered. "I gotta watch out for you quiet guys..." "You don't see what I'm saying?" I asked her. She paused for a moment. We made eye contact. She said, "I do now..."

Where My Elders At?

Ahh...today I saw and witnessed this beautiful lady. I'd seen her briefly once before about four months ago in a similar situation. There she was dancing to the beat of african drums; moving her body to the rhythm. When she dances, she celebrates. She blew me away the first time I'd seen her but I never thought it would happen again; me seeing her- though I imagined it. Then as I'm checking out the scene and enjoying the rhythms myself, there she is, dancing in the circle and blowing me away all over again... I snapped a few shots of her. She noticed me. She glanced at me, glanced away, glanced back again... A hint of a smile.. It was like that old game of stealing looks but not making it obvious that we're looking directly at each other. I felt like Kunte Kente, hoping an elder or two would step to me and ask "are you making eyes at her?" And I'd gladly say yes, hoping the elders could hook me up... Ha haa...but, reality steps in. Ain't no elders around though someone in front of me did say to their friend "I think she's lookin at this tall guy.." and then it appeared she had to go. A female friend of hers seemed anxious to leave. The beautiful lady exited the circle from the opposite side of where I stood. As the two walk away together, I tried to make my way to the other side but I'm too late... I tried to follow but I'm too far... Maybe another time, another place, another chance... If not, it's okay. I enjoyed the moment, the stolen glances, the beautiful smiles... the possibilities... the inspiration.

Take good care, he said...

A writer, a dreamer... hoping that his love for words finds its way into the hearts of others. Dreaming that his expressions based upon experience change what has become his life. Praying that each mis-step were simply lessons that will point him in the direction of success. Believing that no matter how dark the days, there's still hope?

Sadness & Beauty

Saturday was a sort of breezy cool day for me, metaphorically speaking; not so much weather-wise. It rained off and on throughout the day but I still had to get out for a little while. After I traveled to my first destination, I couldn't resist going inside this huge cemetery nearby. I'd always been curious to look inside. I have friends and family of friends buried there. I walked around, took a few pictures of statues and a beautiful water fountain. Then I came upon this headstone with a really nice picture. Seems like a lot more headstones have pictures nowadays. This one caught my attention because for one I could see that this woman left the world much too soon and not only was it a great picture but she looks so happy. I read the headstone, which paid tribute to her as a daughter, a wife, and a mother. The flowers lying on top were all wilted and pretty much gone. I saw a deflated heart shaped balloon close by. Perhaps it was brought by this woman's family or maybe even the husband placed it there for Valentines Day. I imagined him being heartbroken and missing his lady; missing all the great times they shared and all the dreams they'd hoped to live for and share together... As a couple they were one and now he must carry on without her. Life is precious and so is love. Even if what you embrace are memories and the spirit of someone passed on, that love remains very special and very crucial to your life as you continue on... It began to rain as I took one last shot of this woman's headstone and in a short distance away, someone else was being put to rest... More love passing on yet hopefully never forgotten...

Cool Image Weekend...

This was a good weekend, photographically speaking.. I took this great shot of a woman dancing her heart out. She was into her every movement. She had fun. She blessed the drum circle that she danced inside of, along with a few other ladies... I also enjoyed the presence of a buddy of mine as we discussed something happening before our eyes in the distance. It was a display of jealousy by a man who seemed to quietly object to his girlfriend wanting to dance and bless the circle as well. It was pretty sad because she was wasting all this great energy and joy outside of the circle. He was diffusing her beautiful spirit and denying her from shining. He should've encouraged and pushed her forward considering the direction she so eagerly wanted to go was a very positive one. Luckily the positivity won out and once she stepped inside the circle, it was a beautiful union of rhythms and joy. The man stood with a sour look on his face, which eventually gave way to recognition. Someone felt his negative vibe and offered that he contribute by taking that energy out on a drum. He did and positivity prevailed all around... My buddy and I agreed that because this man changed his tune, so to speak, tonight he'll probably get some extra good lovin and more than that, he and his lady shared in something that they can talk and laugh about later... To me, that's what it's all about if you have someone special. Experience moments together and build upon it. Create new memories together and turn them into special traditions that you look forward to doing again and again... I hope that man learned something from today's experience... I know I had a blast just being a part of the whole vibe.

Happy Valentines Day/Week..

Here's a little something to aspire to... Love... mixed with mutual pride. The world may be the stage but what's most important is that they have each other... The same can be practiced on the local level... meaning, everybody can have this... I wish everyone the best kind of love, however you may dream it to be...

Change Don't Happen Much

Five minutes away from where this beautiful creation(Watts Towers) was erected and preserved over the years for all to see and experience, there was another tradition going down that unfortunately serves as a reminder on how not much has changed. the trading of lives; bullet for a bullet mentality continues. There were hundreds gathered in a cemetery, celebrating the life of a fallen loved one. They mourned, they cried, they looked angry... A great number of them were dressed in white t-shirts. A lot of bravado. Young men standing tall with their chests stuck out. Most fighting back tears. The fallen one had many friends and the amount of cars that lined the street leading into the cemetery stretched a very long distance on both sides of the street. And on every corner in the vicinity there were police officers parked; waiting for any trouble that might occur. With the exception of the anger, sadness and tension that filled the hearts of those saying their final goodbyes, peace prevailed but all one has to do is listen to the news, read the paper, and decipher the writing on the walls. You'll discover that change don't happen much despite this country's possibility that something historic is on the verge of becoming reality... maybe. Sometimes hope ain't always the most convincing argument and love is often used as motivation for battle rather than healing, coming together and building a stronger bridge that connects understanding and compassion in a way that doesn't blow over so easily... Folks gotta get it together because what goes on in the hood aint a priority for the White House or the Governor's Mansion, no matter who's in it...

Black History kick-off..

February is here and it brings with it the so-called “Black History” celebration time, which is definitely important and a beautiful thing. Me being black, I like to think I celebrate it every day, every month but since this is the official time of the year, I want to kick things off with my own celebration and tribute. I’m hoping one of these years I’ll be able to celebrate with the relase of my much delayed epic novel, Until Again which should’ve been out this month but nevertheless, its on the way.. *smile* Be that as it may and without further delay, I want to honor someone who to me is worthy of a black history tribute/celebration trophy for his accomplishments and for representing himself as a multi-faceted black man. Perhaps he’s not famous to the average Joe and Jenny on the street but he’s known by friends and family. He’s known by teachers, scholars, and students. He’s known in the hood, the country, and the classrooms. He’s blessed by his two beautiful children, which he plays an extremely active role in raising them. No doubt his son and daugther will be amazing individuals when they grow up. I’ve admired this dude since the day we met on his home turf in Memphis, Tennessee so I write this little tribute with a smile on my face. His name is Torrance Stephens.

You ever meet someone in life that instantly reminds you of family? You ever meet someone who you just want to sit and listen to because you instantly respect that person? You ever meet someone who no matter their age, you feel like this is someone to look up to like an older sibling? You ever meet someone who is so cool and down to earth, you wish them nothing but happiness and success no matter how much time passes before you see them again? Thanks to the internet, I can check on what’s going on in the prolific mind of this brotha because he’s probably got the best blog (http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com/) in the internet hemisphere… You’re always sure to learn something, be inspired, forced to think, and entertained all at the same time. I always imagined that if you peel open this man’s mind and stretched out every thought and piece of knowledge inside, it would probably wrap around planet earth several times. He’s got the street intelligence, the country boy work ethic and the intellectual scholar ingredients that would make anyone envious but he’d never have you feeling that way because he’s cool like that. My admiration is endless. I mean, my man Torrance has traveled to other countries to speak to folks on behavioral sciences and health education, written countless articles and chapters on some very serious issues like AIDS/HIV and other infectious diseases but he's still a country boy and a father which means you'll find him coaching his son in life and athletics all the while finding time to eat some stew that's got ingredients like pork, possum, rabbit and squirrel in the mix. *smile* Besides all that, he's also an author of some very deep stories like "Fast And Gamin," "Butter Brown," "For U Who Left Me While I Slept," "Matter Of Attention," and "Rockstar, Stud, Gigolo." What? A scholar writing books with titles like that? Yeah, 'cause he's cool like that so dig beneath the titles and see what he's talking about. You can check those out at www.BBOTW.com Here's a quote that shines a little light on the man as an author....

"In the tradition of Iceberg Slim, his work carries the immediacy of corner stoop storytelling but is that rare creation--African American oral tradition in a literary form." LISA RICHARDSON- LOS ANGELES TIMES

Anyway, I wanna send a sincere shout-out to Torrance Stephens PhD, rawdawg buffalo as I kick-off Black History month on Super Bowl Sunday to salute this good dude... Peace and continued blessings...

From the chronicles of why it gotta be like this!

Today, I was listening to an interview on a hip hop station. It was interesting in all kinds of ways... Informative? Nah... and I definitely aint trying to put down hip hop in any kind of way but I just found today's interview of Prodigy from Mobb Deep interesting. It had me wondering what folks will remember about the music and the artists from the genre, twenty years from now. No doubt, there's some great history in hip hop but the way they were talking on the radio today the only history they celebrated was violence rather than the...MUSIC. Prodigy talked about being able to afford a bullet proof car. He spoke about various beefs aka disagreements he had with other rappers that would lead to violence if he had run into that person. The interviewer brought up questions about Tupac's ability to fight because of things she's heard, which really doesn't matter.. Around every corner there's someone who could get the best of you in a fight and vice verse, but my main point is, what does that have to do with the music??? Me being a huge fan of Tupac, I didn’t really appreciate the comments made about him but everybody got their own perspective. The interviewer to me sounded like she was motivated by the very same hearsay and unnecessary bravado which fueled the kind of environment that brought down such a prolific artist. He had his issues and was at times a victim of his own young ego but he was an amazing artist, a brilliant mind, very well read, and was extremely driven, albeit the motivation could’ve been because he feared the end was coming soon but he was able to accomplish a lot in a short time. Funny thing though, in the four or five times I’d seen him around LA, when he was driving he was alone and had the top down on his convertible. When I saw him hanging out at the Glam Slam niteclub many years ago in downtown LA, he was alone. But the bottomline with respect to how I’d like to remember him most is by his contribution, which was music and film. There's some incredible hip hop musical moments and great artists that have come and gone and that's what should be talked about/celebrated.

As I listened to the interview, it made me think about a conversation I had not too long ago with a friend of mine. We talked about music and brought up memories that had us both smiling and feeling the goose bumps all over. This fella is older than me so he could recall a little more than I could, from Miles to Hendrix on forward but then I brought up Parliament/Funkadelic and he laughed in a proud way... "Ahh yes, the mothership!" I told him about how as a kid, I got into a few of those Parliament shows for free because my father promoted some of the concerts in Houston along with a couple buddies of his.
He asked me "what year was that?"
"Around 77, 78, 79..."
"Ahh okay, then you got to see them in they prime. Eddie Hazel, Hampton, Glenn and of course George was on top of his game then..."
"Yeah, I even saw them that year when they had that funny lookin dude from the Spinners singing with them.."
"Phillpe Wynne... yeah, okay... You seen some music history back then, man."
"Yeah, but I didn't know it at the time, being so young. I would just be lookin at how crazy everybody was dressed!"

The conversation continued on to other musical groups and artists that became legends and/or well respected musicians, singers, performers but the thing is, all we talked about were these artists contributions to music. We didn't need to go into who shot who, who had beef with who, etc etc. Of course there's always been a shady side to the music industry and there are stories that go way way back; tragedies, early loss of life but music folks from back in the day wear a badge of honor that reflects what they accomplished musically... Think about Curtis Mayfield and all the incredible songs he wrote for others and himself... Isaac Hayes and his amazing body of work... Barry White, Earth Wind & Fire, Aretha, Minnie Riperton, Marvin Gaye, Donny Hathaway, Stevie Wonder, the list goes on and on forever and again, despite whatever tragedies and behind the scenes drama that might have occurred, it's all about the music.. I dont think any of those folks still living or no longer around are thinking to themselves, "I wish I would've bought a bullet proof car..." Just my two cents as I wonder why stuff has come to be the way it is or as I said, why it gotta be like this! *smile* Anyway, peep out Parliament live from the Houston Summit Arena. I was there backstage representin with my father and company...

Cali Surf's Up!

Here's a little video showcasing recent shots taken of and inspired by the many surfers that I've run into on the Southern California coastal areas... You can't help but capture the moments...

Days Like This I Miss (what happened?)

My father used to talk a lot about this one mechanic that he knew. It was this man named Chet who owned an auto shop down on Venice and Western Blvd a long long time ago. Chet was the most honest man you'd ever want to meet. He worked hard every day and took care of your car as if you were trusting him with your life. Your satisfaction is what motivated him and your paying for a job well done was a blessing. Chet would always say "no problem, just leave the car and I'll have it done." My father's fondest memory of Chet was that this man would never take money from my mother. He'd basically fix the car perfectly, have it all tuned up and cleaned up but would wait until my father came around to pay him. He wouldn't worry. He was a man driven by honesty and wanting to be appreciated for not only that honesty but for his quality work. He didn't even have to preface his actions by saying "you have my word, it'll get done." In today's world, people say those words all the time and then you have to keep calling and asking them when will it get done. People today seem to lean on the shoulders of excuses. They embrace laziness. They don't care. A lie feels more natural. The truth is abnormal. Chet was a good man, did incredible work but times changed and finding a person like him is rare... Your word is your most valuable, transportable possession. You carry it everywhere you go. You wear it like a badge of honor, connected inside, hanging from your heart and soul. It shines when a soul is true. You can see it reflected in the eyes of others. Have someone ask others that know you, what their impression is of you. I hope they come back with more than just you looked good, made money or had nice things...

R.I.P.

Rest in peace to 2007; one of the worst years of my life(not all bad) but also probably the single most powerful lesson that I will ever live/experience. I leave this year in the past but I’m amazed at what I had to endure. It will affect me for a long time and has changed my outlook on many things; underline trust. The way I used to trust must change. And as I attempt to repair the damage done, I have to go on and return to simply living again. There’s a certain someone out there with false assumptions. She believes that all was resolved back in July concerning a bad decision I made. It wasn’t and may never be but I'm surviving... I had to take that chance regardless of how it looked or what I might lose. Sometimes you gotta do something for yourself... "do for you, for once" as a few people have said to me recently.

The last seven months have been the most significant part of this lesson. I’ve had to endure losing my freedom to live the way I was always accustomed to. I’ve had to struggle like never before. Every day, week after week I've had to deal with trying to get back what I’d lost due to a very bad decision that was motivated by love and also by what sounded like an easy way to obtain something that’s better to achieve through hard work and perseverance. I also lost a great deal of my own self respect; feeling trapped every day inside of a nightmare that I had no control over. I allowed someone to steal my joy and almost destroy my spirit. I felt like a slave or a prisoner waiting for freedom and during this time the calls of misguided assumption kept on coming. In a strange way, those calls gave me strength. They validated my decision to walk away despite wishing that things could've been different. I wish that it could've all turned into the beautiful dream that I imagined from the start but for whatever reason this was one puzzle in life that no piece could fit. I had to make a decision for me. I wouldn’t have been able to survive these past seven months if I didn’t make that decision.

As the holidays approached, things got worse. Keeping my spirits up and believing that an end to this craziness would come soon began to wear me down. I tried to find motivation by planning a special trip. The only thing that really gave me some degree of excitement was the fact that all aspects of my creativity were improving. I guess when you feel in a sense, imprisoned; you find other ways of escape. You turn up the notch with respect to reading more, writing, and in my case you can add to that, music and photography as well. All of those things gave me a sense of pride and kept me holding on. The holidays were nothing to me. They came and went like regular days. I felt nothing but the worry of my mother who continued to watch me struggle. I had one night of escape when I went to see Denzel Washington’s “The Great Debaters.” That put me in the mindset of east Texas where my family comes from on my father’s side. That made me think of all the fun, the inspiration and beautiful connections to the past that I’ve enjoyed in previous years. But, as I exited the theatre, walked down the escalator and headed to my car, I truly hated how I felt as that feeling of escape inside of the movie theatre quickly wore off. I had to return to my own life and the darkness of feeling so disappointed in myself that I hated to see the next day arrive...

In the last few days I've had to reach down and pull myself up. I've been writing like crazy working on a few stories. I've re-written and edited my most powerful novel, Until Again and half done with the sequel to my last book, My Life Is All I Have, which ironically was about life decisions. I'm down but not out... I don't believe I deserve what has happened but it happened. Somehow, I'll get back what I've lost ten times over... I accomplished something at the beginning of 2007 that I must now say goodbye to. It hurts my heart but one day even this loss will be ten times less than what I believe I can accomplish.

A couple of people have sent me quotes that they live by and refer to whenever feeling down. As I say rest in peace to 2007 and look ahead to rebuilding my life, I leave you with these two quotes...

"No weapon formed against me shall prosper..."

and

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it..."

I wish everyone much happiness, joy, and what I hope to find.... peace..

The result of trusting...

Because of you, all I do is exist. No more life; I sit around waiting. A never-ending nightmare is the only thing that comes true. Daily promises that I hold onto thinking this is finally it. Then that day comes filled with disappointment like a hole big enough for me to slip- in. What a decision I've made. I'm stuck in a deep, long bottomless pit; a place designed for fools like me that trust so easily. Life doesn't feel like it goes on when you've blown the best chance given by God to get it right. No matter how good love looks like on the outside, doesn't mean its guaranteed to become that beautiful connect you always dreamed of. This really isn't about love though; not about an ex but just an attempt at trying to understand why honesty and sincerity serve no purpose. Those that resemble champions of the art of a good lie dish out compliments and receive rewards. Those that scratch their heads wondering (like me), discover more roads for suffering; unable to relate to the concept of being joyous and feeling blessed. Echoes of someone saying "don't do something stupid" only sound like the opposite could be more true. That which is perceived as stupid sometimes feels like the best way out...

This is a featured shot from the Dreamstyle Photography collection... Once again looking forward to the showings and very grateful for the encouragement from Daryl of BRIMM Magazine..

BRIMM Spotlight

Thanks so much to BRIMM Magazine for the spotlight in this month's issue... BRIMM is an incredible magazine based out of Atlanta. I'm also looking forward to the showings of my photography work sponsored by this magazine. What a beautiful feeling to be recognized in a positive way... Life is precious. Gotta keep it moving in a positive direction...

Protest...

This was a cool experience to be a part of...

Productive weekend..

Big shoutout to a good friend of mine named Jaime Saucedo. Gotta thank him for giving me good ideas on how to enjoy the weekend. The ideas I hesitated on at first. My spirit was a little low and a little too comfortable. I needed to get out of that comfort zone known as laziness and get my butt up. Do something different.. A different route and of course, bring my camera too.. Jaime suggested that on Saturday I checkout the anti-war protest going on downtown and then maybe on Sunday hangout and vibe off of the atmosphere of good people, african rhythms, and a positive vibe... I did just that and found myself enjoying the kind of weekend that I haven't had in a very long time... It felt like the old me coming to the foreground and was great opportunity to capture images of life that I could use for my portfolio as well as this spotlight going on right now via BRIMM magazine that's got me featured as a "Best Kept Secret." I'm honored by the spotlight, especially because they noticed me via my photography.

Saturday was cool at the anti-war protest. A lot of people came up with the most creative rhythmic chants to protest Iraq, Iran, Jena six, New Orleans, etc. It wasn't just the same we shall overcome sort of thing but even when they did something like that, they twisted the beat a little bit.. *smile* The signs were real cool too... I'll be putting up a little montage of the images in the next post from the protest.

Sunday, I enjoyed myself a lot. Great conversation with Jaime and incredible opportunities for some picture taking. The lady above represents one of the many that were in attendance as the sound of drums carried on until night fall. A woman known possibly as Oma Oya spoke with me and gave me blessings... And then I missed out on a lovely dancer that I wanted to approach but I'll find her again... and again, I hope.. She was incredible... and so was this weekend.. A return to me as I prepare for a special journey coming real soon. I miss being on the road but I'll be there soon...

October life and death..

Seems like every year October brings with it a passing... I've lost several members of my family during this month over the years and almost left this earth myself a couple years ago. My friend Angela was a witness to that moment in time. This year October has been quiet on an immediate family level but a good friend of mine lost his mother last week. I attended a fiesta that was already planned in her(Emiliana) honor as well as her viewing and eventual burial held this past weekend. The funeral was on monday. It was from beginning to end a beautiful celebration of life. All the children, grand children, etc that she leaves behind. My friend is truly blessed with a big beautiful and close family; something that I wish I had or at least a close one no matter the size. The years have added distance to my family.

The events held in honor of Emiliana were interesting to me. I felt honored because many of them see me as a member of the family. I've known my friend Ed for many years and he's always invited me to family events so I've been able to see some of the kids grow up into young adults now. At the viewing I observed how a lot of these family members reminded me of my own family from years past. The faces looked familiar except these people come from a different cultural background but the personalities are the same. Uncles looked familiar, cousins, aunts, etc etc... The laughter, the jokes, the sadness, the celebration, the worries, the hope... It was all the same. Unfortunately the events were overshadowed by a younger member of the family, Ed's nephew(RJ) who was paralyzed from the neck down in a freak accident on the night after his mother passed away. My prayers go out to RJ. Life is never without its moments that remind you not to take each second for granted. So much negativity is allowed in our lives; people with motives, game playing, etc. What happened to the days of truly appreciating one another for who we are? I felt appreciated at Emilana's viewing just for simply being me and they all appreciated me for joining them in their time of loss... Appreciation and thoughtfulness.... it's lost in this world that overflows with shoulder shrugs and dont care attitudes... It goes without saying that Emiliana is truly in a better place but what a blessing it is to know that she leaves behind so much love and family closeness...

In the middle of downtown this lady hangs her clothes out to dry. The streets is her home and she made due with whatever she could find, borrowing money from passersby. I seen her soak the clothes in a bucket. The money she collected I imagine she'll use for more important things than water, which she found for free by turning on the faucet coming out of a wall a few steps away. I gave her a couple dollars. She bowed and said thank you. I took a picture of her from the front. She had an interesting face; her eyes had a softness to them despite all that she's probably seen in her lifetime. Her skin was definitely affected by the elements but her spirit seemed strong. She continued to smile and collect any change that anyone might give to her as she waited for her clothes to dry. I didn't mean no harm but I wondered how often she wore the black lace that she had hanging on the steel rod fence. Much respect to this lady and her survival...

Home...

From the pages of a forthcoming novel

She lives on an ugly street pulling out weeds just for friends she meets. She waits for time to remind her of all her mistakes. She figures that's enough inspiration to see what more she can take. She leans on false hope in dark corners. Deals with men less likely to love or honor her. I loved her, though. Sacrificing everything I had to give her more than I'd ever dream. An investment in love is like guessing with your eyes closed. You mean well but without the legs of time to stand on, you never know if your decision is as sound and true as the wanting invading the walls of your soul from head to toe. I made mistakes and therefore I struggle. I suffer because I'm hard on myself. Too much time on my hands forces me to look into the mrror of hindsight. I underline thoughts translated as, you should've known better. Now I walk around as a man others fear to touch but that's nothing compared to my fear to love. It just seems like too much sacrifice at this point and I'm just a little too tired right now...

Franklin Gregory
Copr.2007

Photographic movie..

Amazing

Over time or as time goes by you discover an occasional person that you've touched in some kind of way. I'm truly blown away and amazed by these moments because I never expect that what I write or how I may express myself toward someone would linger in their mind and heart longer than the brief encounter which again, I take as a great blessing. Today I received a really nice reminder of what just being good to people can do. Being good doesn't cost a thing but the rewards always come when you least expect it and need it the most.

Let me back track for a second....This morning I woke up very early at 4:45am feeling restless. I couldn't sleep. I mean, my original plan was to sleep at least until 11am since this is Saturday and I've just finished a long hard work week combined with some very stressful moments in my personal life. Anyway, I got up and decided to venture out to the beach. I was curious to see what it looked like at such an early hour. I live quite a ways from the beach so when I got there(Marina Del Rey) it was about 5:30am. The only folks on the beach at that hour were a few runners, some dogs chasing tennis balls into the water, and a few homeless people covering up in an effort to block that early morning sunlight. There I was, walking through the sand with camera in hand snapping a few shots and just taking in the ocean breeze. It felt good but to a certain degree I felt lonely though not so much in that I wish I had someone by my side; I just felt lonely. Life has been rough recently; still is and it's made me feel something that I've never felt before. I mean, I'm not so sure I even walk with that natural quiet cockiness any more that folks say I have or that "kolohe spark" that a special Hawaii friend(Jody) would say I had. I dont feel it... That something that I've never felt before in the past is pure vulnerability... It makes me feel less like I want to get out and about. My camera is probably responsible for the little bit that I do get out because it inspires me to go out and capture life so that I may escape for a moment while composing the shot.

Well, I continued to walk the beach. I saw a couple surfers out doing there thing including the one fella in the picture above looking so content. I could relate to his feeling of solitude though contentment wasn't something we had in common. I walked from Marina Del Rey to Santa Monica beach which is quite a good walk, especially in the sand all the way. Anyone familiar with the area would say "damn, you walked a long ways!" And being that I had to turn around and walk back made the journey one long thought process as I found myself for a moment forgetting about my camera and escaping into a story that I pictured myself in. I dont want to give a whole lot of details because I can see this story becoming a novel but essentially it deals with the major subjects in life; love, relationships, and everyone's personal journey as a result of our choices relating to those subjects. The story is narrated by a woman but is about a man. I could hear this woman's voice so clearly and relate to each step that the man had taken before crossing paths with the lady. As I walked along the shore of Santa Monica, Venice, and Marina Del Rey beaches, I had composed in my head pretty much the entire outline of the story. When I got home I wrote the first chapter and then I took the suggestion of a friend and rested my mind because despite having an interesting morning, my early rise sort of threw off my day.

And now I get to the point of this blog entry as I really back tracked bigtime there. After my nap I checked my email and found a really cool email from someone I had touched via one of my stories many months ago. A woman that I remember because of her cool name; Suraya Leona. To me, the real true gift/reward of being an author is in how you touch people with your written words. This wonderful lady took the time to email me while on vacation in Egypt. I mean, its not like we've kept in touch at all but for whatever reason she thought of me and reached out. I'm amazed by that kind of thing. Blown away.. I feel blessed and am very thankful. She said in her email that I had helped her a lot when we last wrote to each other. I'm not sure what I did but I do remember her kindness and for that and especially for her reaching back to say hello; I say thank you Suraya.

On another very special note I have to once again say thank you as I did with my picture in the sand to Angela. Her voice and spirit also came at a time when I needed it and still need it the most... Amazing...

When, I keep asking..

Humility, vulnerability, life, lessons, struggle, different light, hurt, pain, worry, anxiety, stuck, alone, money, hate, can't, love, swimming thru rough waters, holding tears inside my soul, watching others celebrate life as I hide from the sun planning my future with nothing. A world of dreams and accomplishments coming to an end. Floating on memories until the oxygen thins. This time in my life has rocked the core of my soul that is the foundation of me and changed my outlook as well as the way I look inward. Gone is the excitement and desire to find you/love...


You ever felt like you were dying inside; living on hopes, dreams, wishes, wants and all those positive things that you believe in your heart should be your destiny? How could these tough times invade your path? How could life throw you the kind of curve ball that feels like it's suspended in air forever. You keep swinging at it to make it go away. You pray, you try to stay strong as others suggest; keep your chin up, etc but its still here; still there. What's worse is when you can sit back, imagine and recognize that you had it ALL before; your life was truly good but then you saw a glimmer of that perceived extra-special-something that you always wanted but was out of reach so you look the other way; the opposite direction of good common sense and you go for it. Your decision only makes sense during that moment when you might as well had worn a blindfold because now that your vision is clear you live your life in fear of what will come behind a mistake that has you labeling this as the worst ever year; a year that seems to have no end...

Just thinking....

As life goes through its motions, you find yourself enduring some sort of heartache. And, if you’re a creative person you find your ways of expression becoming a little deeper because of what you've been though. If you write; you have more things to say. If you play music; you find a little more of an emotional connection to your instrument. If you paint you’ll find a little more realism reflected in your art. I’ve been through a few things in life though I never claim to be alone in my experiences. One can always find another who is worse off or who has suffered and endured greater challenges but to each comes its own trials and tribulations. Lately, I’ve found myself lost in thought, writing down ideas and words that will make for great stories. Hopefully what I express will help others and perhaps entertain. Maybe what I say will even give second thoughts to those that might be on the verge of following a similar path; right or wrong.

One thing that I do claim myself to be and am very proud of is that I am indeed a very creative being. I use many ways to creatively express myself. Perhaps it has to do with being the introspective person that I am; quite often put down because I don’t talk as much as some say I should talk. I figure all the differences that every single individual brings to the table of life is what makes this world go round and round. In other words, despite any ups, downs, and in betweens, I am me and for the most part I’m proud of that fact. I only say for the most part because I’m not proud of all decisions that I’ve made in life but then again, that brings me back to the point I’m trying to make. Life adds depth to the ways in which we express ourselves, especially with respect to those whose means of expression have to do with creativity.

Lately, I’ve noticed an improvement or perhaps more depth in two other things that I do creatively. One is my guitar playing. I love the guitar and have always messed around with it. I’ve been a big fan of the instrument as well as those famous and not so famous who play it. I used to play in a group with my uncle and we’d play at weddings and backyard parties with just me, him and a drum machine back when the technology wasn’t so great and the sound was so cheesy. Back then I hadn’t really lived and experienced all that I can now look back on so from a creative stand point I’ve come to realize that I had very little emotional history, if you will to put inside my playing. Now I find myself up late at night sometimes restless, thinking about tomorrow; I reach for my acoustic guitar and start to strum. I play with feeling. I strum chords that sound really good. The guitar feels like a natural extension of my body as if it belonged in my hands. I grip chords with ease and don’t always have to look at the instrument. Playing relaxes me; thus I’ve found more depth in this creative form of expression, which I imagine is due to my life and the living that I’ve done.

Photography has turned into a passion of mine unlike I’ve ever imagined it would. Perhaps it was handed down by my father who was a real serious photographer and had about twenty cameras and a professional dark room/studio in his house. Anyway, my need to capture moments in time has become a sort of daily craving. Many times when I don’t have my camera in hand, I find myself capturing moments visually with my mind or looking at things differently because I’m trying to figure out how I‘d photograph the subject. I look at people, scenery, objects, etc with so much more in mind than a simple glance. I believe that my photography is now showing a lot more depth not only due to me becoming that much more familiar with my camera but mostly because of that certain vision inside of me which sees things in my own way based upon my life’s experience. I really believe that if you have two photographers taking pictures of the same thing, you’ll likely see two very different visions. I experienced this recently by comparing a shot of a wall that I had taken in downtown Atlanta. It was the very same half brick and concrete, graffiti covered wall that a friend of mine had photographed before. She chose to highlight the entire wall and bring out the soft yellow tones of the concrete area whereas, I chose to focus in on the red brick area, which included a window with broken glass. I brought out the red, white and black tones of that section of the wall. I look at my photographs and wonder what goes through my mind before hand and why I chose that particular subject. I’m not sure most times. It's basically a gut feeling... I just feel some sort of emotional thing while at the same time I’m surprised by the end result because I’ll see a little bit more than what I’d seen when I initially took the shot. I love photography and most of all, I love being creative. And with life comes a deeper means of expression especially if you pay attention to every detail of it; good and bad, right or wrong.... but anyway...